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Jeanne's Journey

Holy Crap!
That Jeanne was truly frightening.

I have experienced the fearsome four,
Bonnie, Charley, Frances and Ivan,
But this Jeanne hit us the most.

I have never heard such menacing, howling winds my whole life.
I can actually hear our windows and walls grunt and rumble.
It was scary.

Most people in our area are still without power,
and widespread flooding is still a problem.

With such an extraordinary season that we are experiencing here down south,
I must admit that I have learned a lot about these deadly hurricanes.

And so, as a concerned member of society,
I feel that I should share with you this "Hurricane Info" that I have researched,
just to be of service to everyone.
(To anyone who reads this crap, at least.)

I now bring you,

Hurricanes 101

1. How are hurricane's names selected?

-- A list that originated from the National Hurricane Center
and is now maintained with the Internatio.....
Well actually,
Hurricanes don't really care what name you call them.

2. What wind speeds correspond to hurricane strength categories?

a. Category 1 == 74 - 95 mph
b. Category 2 == 96 - 110 mph
c. Category 3 == 111 - 130 mph
d. Category 4 == 131 - 155 mph
e. Category 5 == 155 - Holy Shiiiiiii

3. How do forecasters know a hurricane is coming?

-- It's either they have really, really good binoculars,
or hurricanes always leave a forwarding address.
But I think the hurricanes just love the beach.

4. What is the first thing you should do
if a hurricane is confirmed to be heading in your direction?

-- Check your supplies for the big hurricane party,
and then begin drawing plans for the new house you will be building.

5. What should you do first after a hurricane passes?

-- Determine if your computer is operational,
then see if your spouse, kids and pets are around,
then get back to your computer.

And lastly,
6. How can you protect your house in the event of a hurricane?

-- With Duct Tape. No further questions.

Okay, okay!
Maybe they weren't the best answers.
But one thing is for sure.

My computer is still working. Haha!

Anyway,
here are some cool links if you have read this far.

****************************
On a side note:
We will be moving to our new house, (which is still standing, Thank God.)
So, I might not be able to update for a while.
The DSL people told me that the transfer of service might be delayed
because of the hurricanes.

Stupid Storm.

*Sighs*
God I hate Mondays.
****************************

Real hurricane info ----> Howstuffworks.com
See Ivan's damage to the coastline ----> usgs.gov
Is God punishing Florida? ----> Political Humour
Turtle Bridge Game ----> funflashgames.com
Driving to nowhere ----> gorillaz.com - (Darwin, you'll love this!)
The famous old aged question, answered ----> chickenjoke.com
Lies on the pentagon attack ----> Pentagon conspiracy

Remember This Day.

Today,
Tracy and I are officially,

"HomeOwners."

Damn right!
We did our closing today,
and we shall be moving into the new house
on the 1st of next month.

Praise God.
We are truly blessed.

We have not even been here a year,
and we have accomplished so much.

Tracy's new job,
getting married to each other,
1 new car,
a new home,
and (3) (4) 5 deadly hurricanes.

Hurricane Jeanne is making landfall tomorrow.

Hah!
No matter.
I will not let these storms ruin my joy!
I have no time to worry and be stressed.

Now if you would excuse me,
I need to go and get us some food before Armageddon starts.

Stupid Storm.

After Ivan,
there's Jeanne,
and possibly Karl?

I can't handle anymore crisis.
My schedule is full.

But I have time for one joke,

"What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?"

"Hold on to your nuts!"

Hahahhahhahahaaaaaaa!!!!

Weather Stress does things to your brain.

Stupid Weather.

Hooooowweeeeeeee are da chammppyyeeennsss, mah freeeeennnnn!!
Hhhand weeeee'lll keep on fahhhtttteeennn, til the ennnnnnn...
(---air guitar---jan-jan-jan)
Nooo time for llloooosssaaahhhsss, Coz weeeee are da chammppyyeeennsss.....
Of the wooooooorrrrrrrllllllddddddd!!!!

Ahhh, such a beautiful thing!
Team Canada's glory, regained!

Team Finland gave me quite a scare.
They played an excellent game.

Now, to celebrate Canada's victory,
I think I would purchase the "Official 2004 World Cup Canada Jersey."

What??

$84.99 ??????

Nevermind.

Stupid Florida Hurricane.

New song added.

Amazing Grace.

I had this song stored on my PC for a while now.
It's just a little tribute to those who perished during Sept. 11.

Also, for the people in Spain on March 11,
and the children who suffered in Russia.

"May they all rest in peace."

Check it out under "Chorus".

Okay, let's look at my new checklist:

1. Hurricane Bonie (check)
2. Hurricane Charley (check)
3. Hurricane Frances (check)
4. Hurricane Ivan (bring it on!)

I think we'll just leave our windows boarded
for the rest of the year.

Stupid weather.

Oh well,
at least Canada is "kicking ass" in the
World Cup of Hockey.

Look at the size of that!

It's bigger than the whole State of Florida.
Quite a monster,
quite a threat,
and the State will get quite a beating.

It will hit Florida so hard, it will see tomorrow, today!

Once the mayor says, get out and evacuate,
make no mistake,
I will pick up my butt
and we are out of here faster than a pizza at a weight watcher's convention!

Damaging wind gusts,
Tornadic situations,
Destructive floods,
these are threats that I am in no mood to face.

But those are not the biggest threat to me.
The biggest dilemma that we're facing right now is,

"The temptation of not to eat all our food supply."

These "ready-to-eat", "non-perishable" foodstuff is calling my name
everytime the news does its hourly storm update.

The hurricane better come soon,
because my stock supplies are running low.

Stupid Hurricane.

Here we go again!

Hurricane Frances has it's eye and ready to pound
the State of Florida.

People are flocking down to the grocery stores,
preparing for the worst.

You know what's worse than having to fight all these people,
and race them to buy your necessities?

Being broke and not able to get as much as you wanted.

If the hurricane comes and doesn't kill me,
I would probably have a stroke,
and die from worrying too much.

I think these hurricanes are the work of the government,
to keep your mind off the war.

God I hate these terrorists!

10 things I realized,
while watching the 2004 MTV Video Music Awards.

First,
I don't enjoy it anymore.

Second,
How I miss the good old days of "Real" Rock and Roll.

Third,
Where did "Hard Rock" go?

Fourth,
In my day, when an artist sings a ballad,
the audience uses their cigarette lighters for effects.
Now, they all use the glow on their cell phones, and raise them up high.

Fifth,
It doesn't matter if you can perform or not, it's all about the image.

Sixth,
Since everything is all about image, the true message of the song is forgotten.

Seventh,
Lenny Kravitz, (a Jimi Hendrix wannabe), was a presentor
and was given the chance to perform with Alicia Keys and Stevie Wonder.
And they only allotted 30 seconds to pay homage to Ray Charles.

Eighth,
What kind of a name is HoobaStank?

Ninth,
I should have watched the Olympics Closing ceremonies instead.

Tenth,
As I quote Danny Glover in Lethal Weapon,
"I am getting too old for this crap."