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Quite Embarrassing

A couple of days ago,
I was having this dilemma,
and I was debating if I should call someone for help or not.

I would have called Tracy,
but she was at work and I did not want to bother her.

I would have searched the internet,
but Tyler was running around, and I need to keep an eye on him.
(Plus, I would get sidetracked looking at "other stuff" anyway.)

I knew it was quite embarrassing,
but I just swallowed my pride,
called my mother,
and waited for her to laugh at me.

(Phone Rings)

Hello?
Hi Mother! It's me.
I have a little problem. Are you busy?
What? No, I am not busy. Are you okay?
No. I am not actually.
What's wrong?
Well, it's a little embarrassing,
but I really do not know what I am doing wrong.
I tried over and over again,
but I just can't get it quite right.
Well, what is it?
Eerrrrr.... How do you make grilled cheese?

Echoes of laughter can be heard here.
I think even our neighbors heard me.

Laugh all you want.
But to me, one of the things that really makes me happy,
is when Tyler eats what I prepared for him.
It really bothers me when he does not eat.

I just think that nutrition is something very important at this age.
Plus, I suppose I got this attitude towards food
while growing up in the Philippines.
Because there, people eat like Hobbits.

And I am also trying my best to be the "Perfect Parent".
I have even subjected myself to read some parenting books,
research some parenting advice online,
even watch shows of Dr. Phil. (God I hate that man.)

So anyway,
after my conversation with my Mother,
I learned two important things.

First.
There is no such thing as a "Perfect parent".

And second,
Put the butter on the bread first.

Late night Chat

One of the best things about being married, (or being with someone)
are the late night chats you have when you are in bed.

You know, just before going to sleep,
you talk about how the day went for both of you,
you share funny stories,
you talk about things that happened,
who and what pissed you off,
and the plans you have for the following day.

But you got to be careful though.
Somehow, somewhere along the lovely chatting,
one of you has to initiate how it's going to end.

One of you has to know when the chat exchange is beginning to make no sense.
When the topics are going nowhere,
someone has to initiate the closing stages, and end it.
Or else, both of you will just be up all night.

Case in point.

Here is an example of a married couple,
who was having a late night discussion about their day.

Pay close attention, on how one of them
brilliantly finished the conversation
and saved them both some meaningless dialogue.

Watch closely because that moment passes very quickly.

Let's call this couple Tyrone and Tracy,
because those are the names they go by.

(Enter Scene)

Tracy: ..... and so that's how my day was. Always, busy, busy, busy.
I am so glad it's over.

Tyrone: You know sometimes when you tell me stuff about your work,
I keep getting confused about who said what to who.
I keep getting the names mixed up.

Tracy: Okay let me tell you some of the names of the people I work with.
There's Debbie, Abbie, Ann-Marie, Danielle, Claudia, ...... (and so on)

Tyrone: Wow! Now let me tell you the names of the guys I work with.

Tracy: Huh?

Tyrone: Yeah! There's Bert, Ernie, Oscar, Elmo,
Buzz, Woody, Dory and Nemo, those two are hilarious.
Mike Wazowski, James Sullivan, funny guys, I tell you.
There's Fiona, Donkey, Farquad, Shrek, Gingi......

Tracy: (laughing) Gingi? Who the hell is Gingi?

Tyrone: Gingi! You know, Gingi!

Tracy: No, I don't know Gingi.

Tyrone: Well, do you know the muffin man?

(Silence)

Tyrone: Who lives down Drury Lane?

(Deafening Silence)

Tracy: Goodnight honey. I love you. (Rolls over)

When is it gonna stop?

I just saw that new iPod commercial with U2.
Something "Vertigo", I think.

What is it with musicians and bands "selling out"?

First I saw Metallica having a reality special.
(Ozzy doesn't count.
No one understands what he says on that show anyway.)

I saw Bon Jovi in a battery advertisement,
then I saw Bob Dylan in a Victoria Secret commercial.
What's next?
Bruce Springsteen endorsing Kotex or Tampax?

This is why I love progressive bands and guitar virtuosos.
For them it's still all about the "music".

It's just sad that nowadays,
it's all about image and money.
It's not about the music anymore.

Has anyone watched MTV lately?
They don't show Music Videos anymore.
The only time they show those videos is at 3 or 4 in the morning!
It's mostly Nick and Jessica marathons.

Just like sports.
Sports is a business nowadays.
NHL is in lockout, NBA players want more money,
and half the NFL players have a police record.
It's not sports anymore.
It's sports mixed with politics or the judicial system.

*sighs*
Sad. Very sad.

It's a good thing I quit showbiz,
gave up on being a professional athlete,
and refused to be a rock star.

(Hey, I can dream, can't I?)

15 Days!

15 days. That's how long we haven't had any phone nor internet service.
In this day and age, you would think this would be unheard of.
That's half a month!

So we got our phone turned on yesterday,
and the internet today.

Apparently, someone in that company
didn't understand the procedure of moving a service
and processed a new connection instead.

To remedy this problem, I had to talk to "9" people,
and spent almost 4 hours on the phone.

There has to be a better system than that!

Oh well,
I guess I can't complain.
Since someone in our neighborhood has an unsecure wi-fi,
with his SID on major broadcast.

Yup, I used his connection,
but only to do certain "important" things.

Nope, I did not take advantage of it.
I wouldn't want it to happen to me.
(Plus I'm a nice guy,
and I was only getting a 47% signal quality anyways.
Not good for long downloads.)

So anyway,
the moral of the story is?

Make sure that your Wi-fi is secure
and when you move your phone and internet service,
it would be easier if you just cancel your subscription
and order a new one instead.

Stupid hurricane.

10 Best things about owning your house

10. You can re-paint your walls if you want to.
Unless you like that dull eggshell color.

9. No more asking for permission, whenever you need to drill holes
or install new utilities.

8. I don't hear my neighbors pee at 3 am anymore.

7. I don't share my yard with anyone anymore.

6. Tax off at the end of the year.

5. When you go to Home Depot, You feel like you really belong,
even if you only have to buy a single light bulb.

4. When something goes bump in the night, you know it's not your neighbor,
because you are not attached to them anymore, so the bump is quite "legit".
(okay that might not be a good thing)

3. Three words, Bar -- Bee -- Cue!!!

2. You decide if you can have a pet or not.

and

1. A totally new meaning for "Home-Sweet-Home".

Thanks to our family and friends who supported us.
Thanks to HGTV, for giving us the inspiration and a lot of ideas.
Thanks to U-Haul for charging me a fortune.
Thanks to the government for increasing the gas prices,
when I needed to go back and forth between two houses.

Thanks to Tyler who has been very patient during the move.
Thanks to Tracy for making this house purchase possible,
and not signing a pre-nup when we got married.
Also, thanks to God for not letting me kill myself from all the stress.

Amen.