ADLIB

You know,
Planning a wedding with very limited money is not an easy task.

Not to mention having less than 2 months to prepare.

So Tracy and I are trying to embark upon this challenge,
the same way we deal with every other difficulties we have encountered.

One Step at a time.

Yesterday we have finally purchased our rings.
And what a task it was.

See for guys, all we need is a ring that is simple.
We don't care about diamonds, carats, designs, color,
gold, white gold, yellow gold, silver, sets,
solitaire, cathedrals, depth, symmetry,
flouresence, table, crown width, clarity, girdles, culets,
Casting Quality, Prong Quality,
Channel Settings, Metal Quality, and Gemstone quality.

None of those.

Us guys only want is a ring that'll fit.
That's it.

Except for me.

I want my ring to be gold,
Preferably made in the fires of Mount Doom.
With writings in some form of Elvish,
and the language is that of Mordor, which I will not utter here.

A couple of nights ago,
We were having dinner,
We heard someone knocking on our door.

As I checked to see who it was,
I immediately saw the flashing red and blue lights.
It was the cops.

I opened the door, and the officer said,
"Hello. Good evening. We received a 911 call from this residence.
Is everything all right?"

I said, "Really?" while scratching my head,
trying to remember a memory that wasn't there.

The Officer replied,
"Trust me sir, I wouldn't be here if we did not receive a call."

Now, Tracy approaches the front door as well.

"No sir, I am sorry. It wasn't us"
I responded back with a baffled look on my face.

Tracy said, "We'll we have a toddler."

Immediately the officer replied,
"Ah! That must be it. It happens."

He now has a smile on his face, while I can feel the embarrassment on mine.

He also added,
"We would rather be here and see that everything is fine,
rather than something else. Have a nice night then."

"Thank you, officer."
I said, as Tracy and I looked at each other, closing the front door.

That was quite embarrassing.

See, whenever we change Tyler's diaper,
we have to have something called a bribe.

Something for him to hold and play,
just to distract him and not roll over and fight us.

It just so happens that the phone was nearby,
and it was the only thing we can give him to get his attention.

He likes playing with anything that beeps, or makes a sound.
So I guess that must have happened then and there.

Now I was thinking.
There are ten possible numbers (0-9),
On ten different places, (0123456789)
Which would mean there are:
If my math doesn't fail me,

10,000,000,000 possible combinations --> 10 to the 10th power, (10**10)
The Kid just happens to press the 3 dreaded numbers.

Then, I did some more thinking.
(Shut up! It's either ponder about stuff like this or watch Oprah.)
Anyway, I was saying,
I started thinking,
Maybe Tyler really did press those numbers.
Maybe it's a cry for help.

"Help!! Get me out here!! These people are crazy!!"

Moral of the story?

I am bringing Tyler next time I play the lottery.

Now here are some cool links to take your mind off this crap.

Here's a bloody version of the yeti-pingu game ---> Yeti Gore
Transforming Ytterbium Replicant Optimized
for Nocturnal Exploration ---> get your Cyborg Name
Meet Mili and Tary (A yeti game spin off) ---> Mili&Tary
Blue balls to the Left ---> Red Ball Blue Ball
The Simpsons in India ---> The Singhsons

Here's another proof of yesterday's post……

Sometime in September of last year,
We visited Tracy's folks down in Kansas.

We drove around,
seeing new sights,
enjoying the sceneries.

Road trips tend to take it's toll.
And somewhere, somehow,
When you gotta go,
You really have to go.

So I asked Tracy's Mom if there would be any washrooms nearby.
("Restrooms" as they are called here in the States.)

So her sweet Mother, pulled over to this convenience store in the middle of nowhere,
And told me to go in there and use theirs.

So I did.

I asked the Lady who was standing on the other side of the counter,
if I could use the restroom. Politely.

She grinned, sighed, and rudely told me:
"Ugh!, It's only for customer use."

I said, "You mean, I have to buy something before I could use it?"

"Well, Of course!" She answered swiftly.

So, I tried to be smart and quickly thought of the cheapest thing I could buy.
"I'll take a pack of gum then please." I said proudly.

"That'll be $1.99", as she pressed the cash register.

"Two dollars?" I shrieked.
I thought I peed right then and there.

"Uh huh!" She said with a hint of victory on her tone.

"Fine then." I whispered.

Accepting my defeat,
I handed her my two dollars,
put the gum in my pocket and hurriedly used the restroom.

I go back to the car, and told everyone that it cost me 2 dollars
to pee in that little store.

Then it hit me,
I realized what I had done.

I politely did what I was told,
and used the facilities like a normal, decent human being.

What I should have done,

Was to pee all over the floors,
Smear soap all over the walls,
Leave the faucet running,
Spit on the mirrors
And throw the toilet paper roll in the toilet bowl.

That would have been cool!
That would have been 2 dollars worth.

But I didn't.
Why?
Because I am a nice guy.

I therefore conclude, that I am a nice guy.

Why do I say this?

While I was up there in Canada,
I have to go through an interview at the US Consulate.

I am usually tense and panicky whenever I go to interviews,
Not to mention government officials.
But this time, I was relaxed, tranquil and calm.
Because I have all the papers I need with me.
Mine and Tyler's.
And I have dealt with the Canadian government so many times
that this will be just a breeze.

So anyway, we got there, and of course you go through security and stuff,
Then you take a number.
When my number was called,
It says I have to go to window 3, which is at the far end of the room.

Fine.
So I grabbed all our paperwork, medical reports, security certificates,
And this big-ass X-ray film envelope that you can't fold.

I picked up Tyler, who was trying to run away from me,
thinking it's time to play,
I run to the said window.

Then this lady at the other side of the glass,
was gesturing to me to hurry up.

A short lady, with thick glasses,
probably of East Indian descent, with a very strong accent.
(I have nothing against them, just describing the lady for a more believable story)

She has that "annoyed" look on her face,
and kept on doing that "hurry-up" gesture with her hands.

This usually bothers me, but I let it go.

Then she started to ask for my papers, randomly.
I don't know about you, but it's hard to look over through papers,
With one hand, while your 16 month old kid keeps on squirming all over.
I can't put Tyler down because he will run away and play with other people.

So she asked me, "Are all these papers yours?"
I said, "Well, me and my son. But he has dual citizenship."
She said, "So he is American?"
"Yes Ma'am." I replied.
"What do you want me to do then"? She said rudely.
I said, "But it says on the letter that I received,
it states that he should undergo all the necessary procedures along with mine."

She ignored me and says,
"No, I don't have anything to do with him.
Give me the forms that you filled out."
Quite rudely and still doing that "hurry-up" gesture with her hands.

This usually bothers me, but this time, I let it go.
Remember, this conversation was taking place
while I kept an eye on Tyler who was playing with the lady on the next window.

I tried to sort out the papers and handed it to her.
Accidentally, I included one of Tyler's papers.

She went ballistic!

She almost screamed and said,
"I told you I only need your papers!"
As she shoves the paper back to the window slot.

I said I was sorry, but she added,
"Next time! When I ask you for your papers, I mean just yours okay?"
in a condescending tone.

She must really think I am stupid
because whenever she tells me something or gives me instructions,
she insisted that I repeat what she said.

This usually bothers me, but this time, my fists were clinched, but I let it go.

Then she said,
"Okay, go to Windows 25, pay this fee,"
as she hands me a piece of paper,
"then come back here, I won't be here, but leave your receipt here,
then go back to waiting area "C".

"Okay Ma'am." I said.
As I picked up all my papers and carried Tyler.
Then she looked at me funny, and again she told me to repeat what she said.

Now, there was this evil voice inside me that didn't want to shut up.
But, I politely did what she wanted.
I repeated what she told me. Word for word.

What I should have done,
Was to mock her and imitate her strong accent,
as I reiterate her words.

But I didn't.
Why?
Because, I am a nice guy.

Then I learned that,
She wasn't even the one doing the interviews.
She was just to prepare the papers.

It's amazing how people act,
When given a little bit of power and authority.

GLAD TO BE BACK.

All the stuff I needed to do back in Canada is done.
All done.
Mission accomplished.

Going back there has really opened up a whole lot of memories.
It reminded me of how cool I thought it was when I first landed there 10 years ago.
How much of a culture shock it was to try and blend in to a new way of life.

Took the bus pretty much everywhere and I remember how many times,
I stood at the bus stop in freezing weather, not feeling my toes.

Since I get off at the last stop,
I remember how many times I fell asleep while riding it,
and the driver had to wake me up when everyone's gone.
Some of them got tired of it, that they don't approach me anymore.
They just step on the brakes really hard so I would fall of my chair.

I passed by the first apartment, Tracy and I lived in.
That place was right by downtown, beside a busy street,
That every time a bus stops, our light fixtures vibrate.

That place also has no heat; well there was a furnace that was made in 1912 I think,
That couldn't really heat up the 10'X10' single apartment.
And if we crank it up, we'll surely expect an average of $350 on our Hydro bill.

We were so broke, that Tracy had to count and save the eggs we had
so we'll have food the next day.
We only had one chair and no table so we had to eat on the floor.

WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE,
WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS??
ENOUGH WITH THE PITY PARTY STORY!!!

I don't even know what I am getting at.

All I wanted to say is,
that we have gone through a lot.

Also, how much I missed Tracy while I was away,
And I realize how important she is and not take her for granted.

Relationships tend to do that to you.
You spend so much time with one another
that you take each other for granted.
And it's quite sad that people mostly realize that too late.

Now that we are all together again,
And my next objective is to complete and seal our relationship.
I intend to marry her.

Hopefully she'll still say "yes".
If not,
I'll let our son Tyler ask her for me.

Nobody can say "no" to that kid.