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You know it's great when your friends share their knowledge with you.
Friendly advice, voice their opinions
or just share their experiences.

I also like it when they forward wisdom emails.
You know what I mean?

Those forwarded emails that have traveled the world multiple times.
Those forwarded mails with a moral lesson at the end.
Those emails that you never read because they were too long, and doesn't even have any pictures.
Those emails that wants you to forward it to all the people on your address book
because, well, because we are stupid
and we like to spread viruses. Not to mention Spam.

So anyway,
A good friend of mine sent me this email.

Let's call this friend Chi-chi,
(well, because she is my friend, and that's really her name)

She sent me this excellent words-of-wisdom-email,
But she was smart.
She knew I wasn't gonna read long useless emails.
So she just picked the ones that she thinks are the best.
And here they are:

I HAVE LEARNED

I've learned.....
that the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
I've learned.....
that being kind is important than being right.
I've learned.....
that it's those small daily happenings that makes life so spectacular.
I've learned.....
that having a child fall asleep in your arm is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
and
I've learned.....
that money doesn't buy class.

Wasn't that nice?

So, as a friend,
I shared to her what I have learned and a very important one at that.

I've learned not to take "laxatives" and "sleeping pills" at the same time.

Lesson learned.

Okay enough of this "crap".
Here are some cool links to "waste" some time.

Seacrest Out!
(God, that was gay!)

Just a big fan of this show --> Family Guy Quotes
Witness what people type on search engines in real time --> Metacrawler
One of my favorite Atari Games --> Kaboom
This test says I am "moderately annoying" --> amiannoying.com
One of the coolest Flash animations I have seen --> We Will Rock You
Redneck Rules of Etiquette --> Redneckrules
I hate dead webpages --> Cannot Find Server

DO NOT DISTURB

(Phone Rings)

Tracy: Why won't he answer?

(Phone still rings)

Tracy: Where in the world are they?

(Click)

Tyrone: (crying)... Hello? ... (sobs)

Tracy: What's wrong? Why are you crying?

Tyrone: Oh honey, it's horrible ...(cries louder)

Tracy: What? What happened? What is that loud noise?

Tyrone: Huuuhuuuu ... (cries, snorts, sobs...and speech garbled)...Frrrr..rrrlmst.rrrdied Huhuuu!!

Tracy: Who? What? Died?

Tyrone: (speech still distorted) Yes!!... Frrrr.rrrlmst.rrrdied... rrrrrgn..mstbcmekng!!

Tracy: (now freakin' out) What? Honey what is happening???!!!
What is that noise? Where is Tyler?

Tyrone: (pauses the DVD)
I said!!!!!!! ... Frodo almost died!! Aragorn must become king!

(silence)

Tracy: After I cast your "precious" movie into the very fires of "Mount Oven",
I will kill you!

(Click)

Tyrone: Hello? Honey? ... Hello?

Was it something I said?

See....
I bought "ROTK" yesterday.

And this is why nobody bothers me when I watch the "Trilogy".

Yesterday for lunch,
Tracy and I tried to make some home made shrimp tempura.

See, if you hang out with my family,
you would learn that "Seafood" to us is not just a delicacy.
It's a freakin' addiction.

And I'll be the first one to admit.
I'll trade in my left leg for a lobster,
my other leg for crabs and mussels,
and my left nut for sushi.
(I would give my arm but I need them to pry open the lobsters.)

Anyway,
Back to my tempura,
Tracy was deep frying every one of them,
but the shrimps never make it to the dining table.
Since, like any other seafood loving guy,
(or any food loving guy for that matter)
I jump on them as soon as it comes out of the frier.

"MMMmmmmmmmm......
I Heart Tempuras!"

But to my surprise,
Something went terribly wrong.

I started having "Welps" on my face.
And I mean welps like you're looking at my face is like
looking at the World Atlas.

You could easily mistake the Gigantinormous shape right below my left eye
as the African continent,
(okay maybe not that big, I just wanted to use the word "gigantinormous")

then draw a line SouthWest of my nose,
and you'll hit South America,
While Canada and Greenland is starting to blur my vision
for it is just beside my freakin' eyelid.

And my whole face feels hot.
Very hot.

Allergic reaction?

Unbelievable!

I have been consuming hordes of ocean marine life
since I was a little kid.
And I can outlast most of my family at all-you-can-eat seafood restaurants.

This can not be right!
This can not be!

I guess some people just develop new allergy reactions as they grow old.

First Beer, then this?

Not good.
Not good at all.
This is soooooooo Bad News!!!

Well, at least I've got some good news.

I just saved a load of money on my insurance,
just by switching to Geico.

Well, no. Not really.
But that would have been cool.
And a nice ending for this crap.

PS --
The plate of leftover tempura shrimp is still in our fridge.
And it's calling my name like I owe it child support.
Oh God, Help me!!!!

A PROMISE BROKEN

The weather was perfect,
The chapel was beautiful,
The minister was great,
The ceremony was joyful,
My son, the best man, looked dashing,
My Bride looked beautiful and stunning.

I could not have asked for a better wedding for Tracy and me.
Everything was just great.

Tyler walked her mother down the aisle,
as our mothers looked joyfully.

Tracy was right,
We did not need a big wedding.

I wanted to give her the best.
I wanted all of our friends and family to be there.
I want her to remember this day blissfully.

But she said,
I don't want all the glamour and stress of a wedding.
I just want you to be my husband.
And spend the rest of my days with you.

As we looked into each others eyes.
While we say our vows,
I saw all the tough times we have been through,
I saw the happiness she has given me,
I saw the love we have for each other.

Although I must confess,
A promise was broken.

As I hear the voice of our son,
trying to break free from his grandmother,
wanting to come and join us at the altar.

As I say the words "I do."
I broke a promise.

What promise?

Well,
I promised myself I wouldn't cry.

Just watched the final episode of Friends.
No wonder my friends are crazy about it.
That is a funny show.

Now it's too late to get into the circle. ("of friends"....get it? Hahahha!!)
And there is no damn way I am buying the DVD.

And..
Tracy's mom is here,
And my mom is coming tomorrow for our wedding on Saturday.

Tyler's two grandmas under one roof.
He is "SO" going to be spoiled.
And we are "SO" gonna have some good food!

Oh Yeah!
I like food!!