ADLIB

1. What was the last TV show you watched?

-- Tech TV/Extended Play

2. What was the last thing you complained about?

-- The Stickers that they stick on fruits. Sometimes I just don't bother.

3. Who was the last person you complimented and what did you say?

-- I complimented my ever loving Tracy for a nice, excellent meal she made me.

4. What was the last thing you threw away?

-- It's garbage day today, so I took them all out.
Oh and all the freakin' flyers they stick in my mail box.

5. What was the last website (besides this one) that you visited?

-- Hotscripts.com I want to make this site fully php.

But Maybe I should learn PHP first.

Now I am going to start something here.
I know it don't matter much but it would be thought provoking.

Wednesday What If,
and Friday Five.

Basically, it's just questions that'll make one think.

You can email me what your answers are
and maybe I'll post it up here.

Don't worry,
Nobody reads this crap I write.

So here we go... I know it's a day late, but what the heck.

WEDNESDAY WHAT IF

1. What if you awoke one morning to discover that, overnight,
everyone else in the world had perished, leaving you to be the sole human on the planet?

-- This question is not fair, Who will help me to reproduce and continue the Human Race?
Then I will go to the nearest Sony Store. Hahaha!!

2. What if you awoke one morning to find that, overnight, you'd transformed into a member
of the opposite gender (if you're a guy, you woke up as a girl, and vice versa)?

--Now the common joker would probably answer this question with a sexual innuendo.
Not me!! If this happens, I would be like,

- On behalf of all womankind,
Enough with the commercials about our period and Sanitary Napkins and Tampax crap!
I think people know already that if a woman has her period,
she will go and get something for it.
You don't see guys advertising about Jock itch!

3. What if you awoke one morning to find that you were living in the year 3003?

-- I'll be like, Dude, where's my car?

4. What if you awoke one morning to the realization that you had somehow
lost all four of your limbs?

--I'll be like, Oh Shit. My secret zones itch.

5. What if you awoke one morning to discover that everyone in the world
looked exactly the same... including you?

--I'll be like, Hey Dude, what's your name again??

Leave it to me to mess this questions up.

It has been more than a month since I took my parental leave.
While Tracy is the one working,
And I get to stay home and take care of Tyler.

Here's what I have learned.

1.) Diapers can hold gallons of pee.

2.) When changing baby, and he pees,
it is not necessary to freak out and scream.

3.) The baby also needs to be bathed sometimes.

4.) If bathing baby, don't forget to bring toys.
Bring one for the baby too.

5.) If in bathtub, it is not necessary to turn on the shower
and pretend you're in a submarine that has just been hit.

6.) When babies get cold, they would most likely pee. Prepare yourself.

7.) Remember lesson number 2.

8.) Eventually, baby has to be fed.

9.) Just because you can eat a meal in 2 minutes,
that does not mean the baby can too.

10.) If Tracy says, "put this in the oven for 1 hour at 350 degrees",
does not calculate to 30 minutes at 700 degrees.

11.) Order Pizza before wife get's home.

12.) Once baby is asleep,
the dog will bark at everything that moves outside your house.

13.) If there's anything you want to do while baby is asleep,
forget it, he will wake up as soon as you think about it.

14.) Once baby is asleep, all the noise in your house turns into
a 5000 watt mega amplifier, with tweeters.

15.) Baby can wake himself up by farting.
I swear it's not me.

16.) Everything in the world gets synchronized once baby is asleep.
The phone would ring, somebody at the door, you have to sneeze,
or an itch in your throat.

And there's so much more, I just can't remember them all.
I'll post them sometime when I recall them.
All these I learned, and it has only been a month.

I need some sleep.

Speaking of appearances.
What I hate so much is when people,
Joking or not, tell you about how you look.
Even worse, they tell you how to fix it too.

You've gained so much weight !!!!
Easy on the muffins there eh buddy?

You're getting fatter everytime I see your picture.

Oh my, you're losing your hair.
Must be in your family's genes.

So what??
Big freakin' deal.

Even my closest friends tell this to me in my face.
Well, I am sick of it.

Who the hell are you to shove this on my face.
You are no Tom Cruise!!

I think it's just rude to tell somebody how they look.
It's so judgemental.

I know it should not bother me, but the cup is full.
I was brought up not to make fun of anybody.
Or at least, find the good in everyone instead.

I even heard this comment once when I was looking for a job,
Lose some weight, no one hires a fat person.

Wow, talk about pressure.

At least, I got someone who loves me regardless of how I look.
And I have a handsome, cutest baby boy,
that I cherish and savour every moment I am with him.

I was created by my Lord's image and likeness.
You don't like what you see?
Go and ask Him.
He'd love to hear from you.

Today's forecast,
WINTER STORM!

Well..
at least we had a nice week of summer.

And today's rant would be
Stereotypes.

You know Tracy works in the US,
and drives an hour and 15 everyday to get there.
Well, since it is snowing like the bombs in Baghdad,
I drove her to work, because that's just how I am.
Since she gave birth to my son,
It would make me feel better knowing that she made it there safely.

Anyways,
So obviously, she gets to cross the US-Canada border twice everyday.
And what is it with border crossing that makes me so nervous?
I have no drugs, no ammunition or firearms.
I have no plans to cause trouble,
but it really does make me nervous.
Like dry mouth nervous, which makes my speech slurred,
and which makes them doubt me when they ask me questions.

Like:
When they ask me what my citizenship was,
I would say,

"Canadian."

All good, right?

Then they ask me, What's my purpose,
then I'd be like,

"Oh just to drive to the hospital where my lovely nurse here works."

All fine, right?

Then they'd be like,
"Do you have anything to declare?"

(-note to self, I AM NOT GAY is not the proper answer.)

Then they'd be like,
"Where were you born?"

Then I say, "Philippines".

"Philippines huh?
Would you please pull over to the side there sir and meet us inside."

What the Faaaaa????

What did I do?

They asked Tracy what her citizenship was and she would say American,
End of Story.

But me, noooooo...
They had to check my status,
criminal records,
how long have I been here,
Age,
Who cuts my hair,
Shirt and shoe size,
Number of teeth,
Number of MP3's downloaded,
Porn sites surfed,
TV program favorites,
Boxers or briefs.

Wassup with that??

Okay, okay,
I don't blame them for double checking because their country is at war,
like it was my fault.

Well, I usually go by the border quite easily and painlessly,
but today, I had to go inside for more questioning.

Tracy was irritated, but not me.
I am used to this.
Coming from a third world country has it's price

You know what else,
If ever we were greeted by a young generation person,
about our age, at the border,
everything is cool.
I think they understand diversity better.

But today it was an old man who, from the start, looked at me funny,
while asking me questions.
Okay maybe it was my slurred speech, but that's not the point.

He's pretty old,
I mean, like,
- I was at the Korean and Vietnam war kinda old.
So maybe he was like,

"Asian huh?
I don't trust these people to sit the right way on a toilet seat."

Plus, Tracy and I are a couple, which probably drove him nuts.
We should have brought Tyler.
That would have brought out the best in him.

So he told me to park by the side and meet them inside.
Tsk tsk tsk, poor old man.
Must have been abducted and abused by an Asian army guy.

Okay okay,
kidding aside.
It's quite sad isn't it?
How everything in this world revolve around on how you look?

Now I see what Michael Jackson was thinking.

-UPDATE-
I just talked to my Mother on the phone, and told her this story,
She said,
Maybe because they think you're an Asian with the SARS virus.

Phew. Now that totally puts a different perspective don't it?
They are not being prejudiced.
They are just being careful.

So now the moral of the story would be,

If you see an Asian person.
They have SARS.