It has been more than a month since I took my parental leave.
While Tracy is the one working,
And I get to stay home and take care of Tyler.

Here’s what I have learned.

1.) Diapers can hold gallons of pee.

2.) When changing baby, and he pees,
it is not necessary to freak out and scream.

3.) The baby also needs to be bathed sometimes.

4.) If bathing baby, don’t forget to bring toys.
Bring one for the baby too.

5.) If in bathtub, it is not necessary to turn on the shower
and pretend you’re in a submarine that has just been hit.

6.) When babies get cold, they would most likely pee. Prepare yourself.

7.) Remember lesson number 2.

8.) Eventually, baby has to be fed.

9.) Just because you can eat a meal in 2 minutes,
that does not mean the baby can too.

10.) If Tracy says, “put this in the oven for 1 hour at 350 degrees”,
does not calculate to 30 minutes at 700 degrees.

11.) Order Pizza before wife get’s home.

12.) Once baby is asleep,
the dog will bark at everything that moves outside your house.

13.) If there’s anything you want to do while baby is asleep,
forget it, he will wake up as soon as you think about it.

14.) Once baby is asleep, all the noise in your house turns into
a 5000 watt mega amplifier, with tweeters.

15.) Baby can wake himself up by farting.
I swear it’s not me.

16.) Everything in the world gets synchronized once baby is asleep.
The phone would ring, somebody at the door, you have to sneeze,
or an itch in your throat.

And there’s so much more, I just can’t remember them all.
I’ll post them sometime when I recall them.
All these I learned, and it has only been a month.

I need some sleep.