Yes you heard me right!
The guy is an ass!

I am not going to put any disclaimer here
About the validity of the red suited freak.
Because I am sure none of you believe in him anymore
and I know that no kids ever read my site.

If you still do, well then good for you.
And if you are letting your kids read this website…
What the hell is wrong with you???

Every year,
There is a program here in our county
that if you sign up and give them your phone number,
Santa will call your house and talk to your kid.

I thought it was a good idea.
So we signed up the kid for it.

He was supposed to call last night.
All excited. Standing by the phone.
The kid waited.
And waited.
And waited.

Guess who didn’t call?
Yup!
The asshole who molests reindeers, that’s who!

The kid was so disappointed when he went to bed.
It was heartbreaking this morning too, while having breakfast.
He was wondering why Santa didn’t call him.

He’s probably thinking, that even though he tried his best to be good,
Santa still didn’t think so.
No! Not good enough for his “list”
that he is supposed to check twice!

Way to put “Self-doubt” on the kid.
Freakin’ Thank you very much, you ass!

Why am I so upset?
Because Santa does the same to me!
I ask for one thing, but he gives it to someone else to enjoy and savour.
And shoves it in my face!
Insults me every damn day that I never got it.

This is why I ask Superman for all the gifts that I want.
Even though he’s another fictional character,
at least he makes sure he delivers what he is supposed to do.

Now, what am I supposed to tell my kid?
“Sorry son. Maybe he’s busy calling other kids.
At least he has our number.”

Yeah.
He’s got our number all right.
Probably selling it to telemarketers.

Because he’s a manipulative, extortionist dick!!