I think my son is going through a phase.
It’s “Let’s see if Dad will kill himself if I don’t let him sleep” Phase.
I think I am still in the game.
I just realized
I just got the Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets DVD.
And I just realized something….
My dog looks like Dobby.
Freaky huh?
What I’ve Learned
It has been more than a month since I took my parental leave.
While Tracy is the one working,
And I get to stay home and take care of Tyler.
Here’s what I have learned.
1.) Diapers can hold gallons of pee.
2.) When changing baby, and he pees,
it is not necessary to freak out and scream.
3.) The baby also needs to be bathed sometimes.
4.) If bathing baby, don’t forget to bring toys.
Bring one for the baby too.
5.) If in bathtub, it is not necessary to turn on the shower
and pretend you’re in a submarine that has just been hit.
6.) When babies get cold, they would most likely pee. Prepare yourself.
7.) Remember lesson number 2.
8.) Eventually, baby has to be fed.
9.) Just because you can eat a meal in 2 minutes,
that does not mean the baby can too.
10.) If Tracy says, “put this in the oven for 1 hour at 350 degrees”,
does not calculate to 30 minutes at 700 degrees.
11.) Order Pizza before wife get’s home.
12.) Once baby is asleep,
the dog will bark at everything that moves outside your house.
13.) If there’s anything you want to do while baby is asleep,
forget it, he will wake up as soon as you think about it.
14.) Once baby is asleep, all the noise in your house turns into
a 5000 watt mega amplifier, with tweeters.
15.) Baby can wake himself up by farting.
I swear it’s not me.
16.) Everything in the world gets synchronized once baby is asleep.
The phone would ring, somebody at the door, you have to sneeze,
or an itch in your throat.
And there’s so much more, I just can’t remember them all.
I’ll post them sometime when I recall them.
All these I learned, and it has only been a month.
I need some sleep.
Speaking of appearances
What I hate so much is when people,
Joking or not, tell you about how you look.
Even worse, they tell you how to fix it too.
You’ve gained so much weight !!!!
Easy on the muffins there eh buddy?
You’re getting fatter everytime I see your picture.
“Oh my, you’re losing your hair.
Must be in your family’s genes.”
So what??
Big freakin’ deal.
Even my closest friends tell this to me in my face.
Well, I am sick of it.
Who the hell are you to shove this on my face.
You are no Tom Cruise!!
I think it’s just rude to tell somebody how they look.
It’s so judgemental.
I know it should not bother me, but the cup is full.
I was brought up not to make fun of anybody.
Or at least, find the good in everyone instead.
I even heard this comment once when I was looking for a job,
Lose some weight, no one hires a fat person.
Wow, talk about pressure.
At least, I got someone who loves me regardless of how I look.
And I have a handsome, cutest baby boy,
that I cherish and savour every moment I am with him.
I was created by my Lord’s image and likeness.
You don’t like what you see?
Go and ask Him.
He’d love to hear from you.
Sars me up!
Today’s forecast,
WINTER STORM!
Well..
at least we had a nice week of summer.
And today’s rant would be
Stereotypes.
You know Tracy works in the US,
and drives an hour and 15 everyday to get there.
Well, since it is snowing like the bombs in Baghdad,
I drove her to work, because that’s just how I am.
Since she gave birth to my son,
It would make me feel better knowing that she made it there safely.
Anyways,
So obviously, she gets to cross the US-Canada border twice everyday.
And what is it with border crossing that makes me so nervous?
I have no drugs, no ammunition or firearms.
I have no plans to cause trouble,
but it really does make me nervous.
Like dry mouth nervous, which makes my speech slurred,
and which makes them doubt me when they ask me questions.
Like:
When they ask me what my citizenship was,
I would say,
“Canadian.”
All good, right?
Then they ask me, What’s my purpose,
then I’d be like,
“Oh just to drive to the hospital where my lovely nurse here works.”
All fine, right?
Then they’d be like,
“Do you have anything to declare?”
(-note to self, “You suck” is not the proper answer.)
Then they’d be like,
“Where were you born?”
Then I say, “Philippines”.
“Philippines huh?
Would you please pull over to the side there sir and meet us inside.”
What the Faaaaa????
What did I do?
They asked Tracy what her citizenship was and she would say American,
End of Story.
But me, noooooo…
They had to check my status,
criminal records,
how long have I been here,
Age,
Who cuts my hair,
Shirt and shoe size,
Number of teeth,
Number of MP3’s downloaded,
Porn sites surfed,
TV program favorites,
Boxers or briefs.
What is up with that??
Okay, okay,
I don’t blame them for double checking because their country is at war,
like it was my fault.
Well, I usually go by the border quite easily and painlessly,
but today, I had to go inside for more questioning.
Tracy was irritated, but not me.
I am used to this.
Coming from a third world country has it’s little inconveniences.
You know what else,
If ever we were greeted by a young person,
about our age, at the border,
everything is cool.
I think they understand diversity better.
But today it was an old man who, from the start, looked at me funny,
while asking me questions.
Okay maybe it was my slurred speech, but that’s not the point.
He’s pretty old,
I mean, like,
– I was at the Korean and Vietnam war kinda old.
So maybe he was like,
“Asian huh?
I don’t trust these people to sit the right way on a toilet seat.”
Plus, Tracy and I are a couple, which probably drove him nuts.
We should have brought Tyler.
That would have brought out the best in him.
So he told me to park by the side and meet them inside.
Tsk tsk tsk, poor old man.
Must have been abducted and abused by an Asian army guy.
Okay okay,
kidding aside.
It’s quite sad isn’t it?
How everything in this world revolve around on how you look?
Now I see what Michael Jackson was thinking.
-UPDATE-
I just talked to my Mother on the phone, and told her this story,
She said,
Maybe because they think you’re an Asian with the SARS virus.
Phew. Now that totally puts a different perspective don’t it?
They are not being prejudiced.
They are just being careful.
So now the moral of the story would be,
If you see an Asian person.
They have SARS.
Warning, warning
Warning: long overdue rant coming up.
It has been almost a week, since the war in Iraq has erupted.
And I know, you don’t want to hear any of more of this,
but I am going to write my opinion of it since,
it’s going to offend someone, one way or another anyway.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not a big fan of war.
And I do not know much of the war for me either to support or condone it.
But I do believe the time for Saddam Hussein to be ousted has come.
But do you think as a dictator, he will step down voluntarily?
This “Leader of a country” who has killed anyone who opposes him, would listen
to the pleas of the U.N. to step down and give up his power?
You think that the U.N inspectors who went to Iraq to see if Saddam really does have
weapons that violate the international law, can disarm him by themselves?
No!
That was just to inspect!!
And if ever there was proof that he was hiding something, what do you think the U.N. will do?
Oh please Mr. Hussein, sorry to bother you but, would you kindly get rid your weapons.
They are kinda not abiding to the rules.
We’ll I bet you Saddam has two words for them.
And one of them is “OFF”
And crap, the inspectors were sent there numerous times, and still found nothing?
You know why? All these inspectors are men.
Men can’t find anything you ask them to.
Inspectors my ass, send them my Mother.
She can find out any misdemeanor my brother and I were trying to plan.
She also found all of our girly magazines,
No matter how hard we try to hide them.
She can smell trouble, a mile away.
Saddam’s weapons are no match for her.
Next, the Media.
I have been glued to CNN since the war started.
And would somebody please tell these people to ease up on the information.
Do they think that Saddam, who owns weapons of mass destruction, does not have cable?
Way to go CNN!,
to proudly announce that the U.S. and Britain military forces
are about to reach Baghdad.
Way to go.
Next, these celebrities who can’t keep their mouth shut.
Listen you over paid, line memorizing, I think I am important because
I was invited to the Oscars – script regurgitator.
Let the government deal with the situation okay?
Do you think Hollywood can do a better job?
Why don’t you go take some acting lessons so I get my $5.00 worth when I rent
your movie at Blockbusters.
Also, why only the Dixie Chicks are suffering from media scrutiny, because of what
they said about George Bush?
What about the others? And what about freedom of speech?
They just said what their opinion was, and that’s just it.
I don’t see them running the country.
Leave them alone!
So what if they are trashing Bush?
Crap, Some Government minister’s here in Canada, even called him a Moron!
Speaking of Canada,
How amazing it is as you consider the U.S. a good friend.
Well, how does it feel to betray your friend in time of need?
I wonder how you would feel if it was the other way around.
In it’s defense though, I think the reason why Canada did not send any military
or army troops in Iraq, is because, we don’t have enough of these brave men and women
to fill up a fighter jet, an army tank or a Hummer.
Our main Battleship is at the Edmonton Mall, guarding the GAP.
And have you ever seen a debate session at the parliament?
Oh my God, what a bunch of Yahoos!
They totally diss and embarrass each other.
Indirectly, I might add.
They say their insults and comebacks thru the Speaker of Congress,
not to each other.
Hey, I guess they have to be polite.
And this one is for the country who has never won a war,
and the president’s name is Chirac.
I hope you are watching the news, and see how a real soldier fights.
Watch and you might learn something.
To the protestors,
We all know that Saddam kills his own people.
He has killed hundreds, if not thousands of Iraqi’s thru Terrorism,
Gas Chamber, and what have you.
Do you seriously think that keeping him in power would promote peace in Iraq?
Are you protesting because, you think Saddam can change his ways or you are just
joining the hype, and you have no clue on what’s happening.
Then again, you say,
“but war is not the answer”.
I know, and I agree.
Just like that song which I can’t remember who sang it, says,
“War!!,
What is it good for, absolutely nothing!”
And if I have any other solution for it, I will be the head of the U.N.
and not here watching CNN like it was the “Family Guy” marathon.
Oh I know who did that song, Chris Tucker, or Jackie Chan.
Now to end this little rant,
Here’s to hoping that the war would not last,
For the innocent people of Iraq to live free and be prosperous,
For the brave soldiers of our time, you are our heroes,
And for the rest to have their regulary scheduled TV Programming.
Thank you.
Checklist
A dozen diapers,
A travel kit full of butt wipes,
Three bottles of 6 ounces of formula,
A bottle of 4 oz, just to be sure,
Diaper rash cream,
About 8 pieces of q-tips,
Extra clothes,
Pacifier,
Bibs,
Blankets,
Stroller,
Car seat,
Toys that hang from the car seat,
There,
Tyler has what he needs.
Me?
Wallet,
Keys,
Jacket.
That’s it,
We’re only gonna be gone an hour.
Mr. Mom
Mr. Mom ,that’s my name,
that name again is Mr. Mom
That’s it.
Today is my last day at work.
I will be on Parental leave
for a good 6 months.
I will surely miss working with my good friends,
Ray, Eric, Garth, Mike and Grant.
They are truly the most excellent and admirable people
I have ever met.
I was having second thoughts about doing this,
but what really made it clear is when Tracy’s Mom said to me,
“Not very many father’s get to have this opportunity,
So take advantage of it.”
Thank you to all those who wished me good luck.
My friends and students at school,
You are all cherished.
now…
LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!!!
Finally!
Tyler’s Birth Certificate came today.
So, let’s see.
as I review my rant these past few days…..
He was born the 14th of October, 2002.
$25 to register him.
And $35 for them to send us the Certificate.
4 months of processing, until we have received the said Documents.
We get,
– A nice thick Solid paper. ($0.62 at Business Depot)
– On it, a photocopy (not a new printout) of the Registry form that we filled out. ($0.30 again at Business Depot)
– A Province of Ontario Seal.
(Which takes 1 second to actually hold the stamping device and emboss the image.)
And since it was sent to us Via Parcel Delivery,
Approximate time of travel from the government office to our house,
(considering we are not the first on the Route)
I would say about ..hmmmmm 5 hours.
Oh yeah, and did I mention I paid $7,000 in Income Tax?
With all these frustrations,
I am not bitter am I?
“Don’t worry Son, You’re all worth it.”