The other day,
I was talking to my niece, Bea.

And she told me how she was able to download songs
for her iPod, through iTunes.

I told her that was great,
and I use iTunes too.

So, as a music enthusiast,
I asked her what songs she got.

And there I was,
with fear in my heart,
dreading what she would say might be
one of them teeny-bopper-songs
that plagues the youth today.

She’s Twelve after all.

But to my surprise,
she said,

“Oh I got some songs by Led Zeppelin.”

YES!!!
She’s a Rocker!

She is one of us!

There is Hope in the future!
Thank you oh Gods of Rock!

She’s got the Led!
That is heavy stuff!

Wait a minute.

Listening to Zeppelin?

Maybe I should ask her what she has been smoking.

Anyone remember those plastic spoon and fork combined?
You know, those plastic utensils shaped like a spoon
but has like 3 or 4 prongs like a fork?
Are they called “Spork?”

Anyways.
The reason I asked is because of this News article from Montreal, Canada.

A 7 year old boy, allegedly reprimanded in their school cafeteria,
because he eats his food with a spoon and fork.

Read the article here –> ctv.ca
and here –> westislandchronicle.com

Humans are disgusting sometimes.
Arent we supposed to be better than this?

Oh well.
You know, the real answer to this issue is simple.

“There is no spoon.”

But if you’re still in the Matrix,
too bad.
Because Neo is freakin’ dead, and no one is going to help you.

In other news:

Recently, other people have been spotted eating with

(gasps)

wooden chop sticks!!!

Hey, remember Friday Five?

Since, my friends and I are scared of “Writer’s Block,”

We thought we’d do this, weekly, just to keep us from reading the same post
over and over.

Actually it’s more for me,
because I am sick of reading my posts, again and again.

So, now I bring you, this week’s Friday Five Answers.

1.) Do you like your birth-name? Why?

— I like my birth name just for the fact that I am stuck with it.
I think my real birth name would have been more cool.
It’s “Get this kid out of me or kill me, please!”
Yup, My mother crossed that one out on my birth records.

2.) If you could change your name to anything else, what would it be?

— It would be nice to change your name to one that would be difficult to spell.
Or pronounce. Like a sound.

You know, like when you slurp your soup,
or when you’re drinking from a straw, and your drink is almost gone.
Or the sound when you crack your knuckles.

Those sounds. Those sounds are hard to spell.

Which means, my folks wouldn’t be able to pronounce my name, when I get in trouble.
(And when I say “I’m in trouble,” I mean “The merciless beatings”)

3.) What names would you consider giving your children?

— I think we should name the children as to what they really are.
“Chores Slave.”
Isn’t that why parents have children?
So they can boss them around.
Tell them what to do, clean the house and get them stuff?

Well,
at least that’s what my parent’s told me when I started questioning them
why they always boss me around.

Hence, the merciless beatings.

Ahhh. Good times. Good times.

4.) If you had a band, what would you name it, and why?

— You know, I would name my band, “Ringtones” (unless there already is one).
Because, I believe you have achieved success, if people put your songs on their phone as a ringtone.

Then they ask, “Hey, what’s your Ringtone?”

Then you say, “The Ringtones.”

Then they say, “Oh that band sucks!”

Then you say, “Screw you!”

And then you run away crying.

5.) Is there a name that you completely hate? Why?

— Come to think of it, I hate that name “Ringtones”

Why? Because I can’t put my songs on my phone.
I am stuck with the Nokia Tune!

Leave it to me to mess these questions up.

So, I suggest you read my friends’ answers.
Since I am sure theirs make more sense than mine.

Check out the Family and Friends links.

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

I have been marinating my mind around the beauty of the Guitar
and “Guitar Rock” these past few days.

Since my guitar show experience,
I have watched all of my guitar concert DVD collections, repeatedly.

G3 Live in Concert (Satch, Vai, Johnson)
G3 Live in Denver (Satch, Vai, Malmsteen)
G3 Live in Tokyo (Satch, Vai, Petrucci)
Eric Johnson ““ Live from Austin, Texas
Queen live at Wembley Stadium
Queen Tribute Concert
Motley Crue, Lewd, Crued and Tattooed
Bon Jovi the Crush Tour
U2 Live from Boston

Plus I also rented,

Mr. Big Live in San Francisco
And Dream Theater Live in Budokan (I did, Sly, and it was beyond words!)

And next on my Netflix queue:

Dream Theater Images and Words
Tribute to Stevie Ray Vaughan
Styx: Return to paradise
Tesla: Five Man Video Band
Yngwie Malmsteen Concerto Suite
Eric Johnson: Fine art of guitar
Paul Gilbert: Space Ship Live
Thomas the Tank Engine: Best of Thomas
Steve Vai: Live at the Astoria

And I am going to watch them all repeatedly too.

Anyways,
since the concert,
I have figured out
how I will be able to play like
a Rock and Roll Guitar God!

And this is how I would do it.

I have given this a lot of thought so,
listen carefully, because I don’t think I can utter this again.

The only way for me to become an awesome Guitar Player is to:

Practice

Grow extra fingers!

And since I don’t live near a nuclear plant
so I could bask myself in radiation,
I believe the next best thing is to
shove my hand inside the microwave,
set in on high, and nuke it for a good 20 minutes.

Yes!
That is it!

Either that,
or go to Mississippi,
wait in the middle of a crossroad,
on a hot summer day,
and sell my soul to the devil.

I would do it.
It’s just that I am worried, he might think my soul isn’t worth shit.

Plus he might make me do other stuff.

Like, make me switch religion,
jump up and down Oprah’s couch,
Get Katie Holmes pregnant, and eat the placenta.

Just like that famous actor, whose name shall remain Tom anonymous.

But I don’t want to be like that.

The only thing that guy and I have in common,
is that we both hate everybody.

Yes, I do.
I feel that most of the time. sometimes.

Not you of course.

I don’t hate you.
I like you.

You read my website.

You’re awesome!

The Sens and Lightning played last night,
for the Hockey Eastern Conference Quarterfinals.

We got Five (5) ESPN Channels,
and not one aired the freakin’ game.

But let me tell you what they showed.

ESPN 1 ““ NFL draft news.

ESPN 2 ““ Something about NFL too

ESPN 3 ““ Sumo Wrestling

ESPN 4 ““ Off air.

ESPN 5 ““ Off air.

Sumo wrestling?
Come on!!!!!

As always,
I had to resort to hear the game on
nhl.com Internet Radio.

Just like in the old days.

It’s just not as exciting.
Even if I close my eyes,
and do the play by play in my head.

The last time I had the endurance
to listen at something that long on the radio, (that is not music)
was Zimatar.

And “Toning.”

I don’t really know where I was going with this post.
I just wanted to say, I wished I’ve seen that Hockey game on TV.

And I wanted to punch the guy in the face who thought of
putting Sumo Wrestling on, instead of Hockey.

I am sure, Sumo Wrestling is cool,
if you find gigantic Japanese men attractive and sexy.
Pushing and slapping each other,
wearing their loin cloths,
with their boobs jiggling like Hiroshima.

You know what, I am also not sure where I was going with that.

But yet,
here we are having this awkward conversation.

Funny how one thing can lead to another eh?
It’s like everything in this world is really connected to each other.

One minute we’re talking Hockey, and radios,
and punching someone in the face.
Then all of a sudden,
Japanese man boobies gets in the picture.

Think about it.
That’s pretty deep.

Go! Sens! Go!

First,
I must apologize,
for it took so long to write about
the show I have been talking about for weeks.

I was going to do a detailed, blow-by-blow account of my experience,
from the moment I got there,
until I left the music hall.

But, as I was writing it down,
even I got bored and started doing something else.

So, I’ll just start from where I actually entered the hall.
After standing in line,
out in the rain,
for 2 hours.

So if you are still with me…
(more…)

I am off to Orlando tomorrow,
to see two of my guitar heroes in concert.

Joe Satriani
and Eric Johnson.

I am a big fan of “The Satch.”
And I truly admire his techniques and melodies.

But Eric is my main guy!
There is not one song he did,
that does not leave me in awe.

It’s unbelievable this guy!

If he ever asked me to run away with him, I would.
In a heartbeat.

(Honey, if you’re reading this, I am just kidding.
You know I love you.)

Anyways,
I am all set.

I washed the car,
I took a bath,
I brushed my teeth,
cleaned my ears,
cut my nails,
picked out my clothes,
and got clean underwear.

I am ready to Rock!

Wait.
Maybe I should shave my legs.

Just in case.