When they grow up

·

Do you ever wonder what your kids would be
when they grow up?

Maybe you would have a premonition based on what they do,
or how often they perform certain actions?

A kid who is fond of trains and cars,
could become an engineer.

Someone who takes good care of their dolls and things,
could become a renowned physician.

Someone who loves to read books,
could become a successful author.

A child who is fond of singing,
might become a popular rock star.

A kid who loves to act out scenes from their favorite movie,
could be a famous celebrity actor someday.

These are all just examples of how
you might know what your kid would end up
when they finally grow up.

Although, I must ask,

What does it mean,
when your child comes up to you,
coming in from the backyard,
on more than one occasion,
and says:

“Daddy, I killed the lizard!”

(I think I need to lie down.)

Bitch, bitch, bitch!

· 5 Comments ·

My site has been slllloooowwwww, this past few days.
It’s freakin’ frustrating!

…and the “FeedBack” section doesn’t work.
…and my Laptop died.
…and my USB drive is dying too.
…and I haven’t done any backups.
…and I need to do a whole bunch of crap.
…and my neighbors are assholes.
…and I’m hungry.
…and sleepy.
…and angry.
…and I’m broke.
…and I suck.
…and my head hurts.

Bitch , bitch, bitch.
Hate, hate, hate.
Whine, whine, whine.

So.
How was your day?

(I was gonna add more,
but I need to take a shower,
‘coz I stink.)

Last Friday’s Friday Five

·

I was going to apologize for being late with this,
because I was too lazy.

But then I was even too lazy to do that.

And then again, I know you don’t care.

So here goes.

1. What type of mood are you generally in on a rainy day?

—I actually like the rain.
I guess I get it from when I was young in the Philippines,
and all the kids go out and play in the rain.

There was a time when we never had running water at our house,
I would actually go out and bathe in the rain, with soap and shampoo at hand.
(Hey, beats the hell out of fetching buckets of water from blocks away.)

2. What are your favorite things to do when the weather is gloomy?

—I was going to say Sleep.
But I have never done that since the dawn of the internet has plagued my life.
(Curse you Oh Lords of Technological Progress!)

3. Have you ever been kissed in the rain?

—If by “kissed” you mean, your lips actually touched the asphalt road,
because it was raining so hard and you tripped and fell face forward.
Then Yes.

4. After the rain stops, do you continue what you were doing,
or do you run outside to do something else?

—Holy crap, I don’t understand this one.
I guess it really depends on what you’re doing.
I mean, I couldn’t go outside, if I am right in the middle of
performing bypass surgery on my ingrown toenail.

5. What is your favorite drink/food to have when it’s raining outside?

—A nice bowl of warm soup would be nice.

But then again, you can’t really associate rain with your food.
Unless, you were eating outside and it was raining.
Then you can’t really have any warm soup,
because that would look really ridiculous.

Standing outside in the rain holding a soup bowl.
What’s wrong with you?

My God, why do I even bother.

Check out,
Anne’s,
Abbie’s,
Maitz’,
And Nikki’s answer to these questions.

Because ever since our elementary days,
these people can answer questions correctly.

Not like some guy I know who pretends to be funny.

I am talking to you Alex Trebek.
Yes you!
You are not funny, and I hate you.

Filipino food

· 3 Comments ·

You know,
One of the things I have been proud of,
is being able to cook.

Okay okay I am lying!
I can’t cook!

Unless there are instructions given to me, written down,
on a piece of paper,
in complete detail.

I have to read and follow each direction to the tee.

I can’t do the “estimate” technique
Nor the “see if you think it’s done” kind of way.

I can’t do that.

Everything has to be in detail.
From the exact number of cups,
ingredients,
size of food if I have to slice,
tablespoons of mixes,
temperature,
and specific amount of time
the food has to stay in the oven, pan or skillet.
Even the exact smell and colour!

This is why I love buying those,
already flavored, ready-made mix.
Because they allow me to do the only thing
I am sure I can’t mess up.

“Just Add Water”

Such a beautiful thing.
Because I can’t create any meal from scratch,
even if there was a gun to my head
and my life depended on it.

Oh crap, that wasn’t really the point of this post
I hate it when I get sidetracked like that.

So anyway,
I was cooking “Adobo” a couple of days ago.
And since, I was using the ready made mix,
I don’t have much stuff to read and analyze on the directions
written on the package.

But one thing that was written there,
which kind of stuck in my mind:

“Good for 8-10 servings”

And you know what?

I finished the whole thing,
all in one day.

And since this post is categorized under “Stuff I’ve Learned.”

Let me tell you what it is.

“I am a gluttonous pig,
and my arteries are clogged.”

But do I feel an ounce of shame?

Hell No!

Why?
Because Filipino food is the best!

New Song Request Added

· 3 Comments ·

Heaven
Music by Bryan Adams
All Guitars and Voice by – Ty Martell



Mobile Player here:

A special request from Kristine.
My official Song Manager/Promoter in the Philippines.

Be careful when you see her,
because she will make you listen to my songs
even if she has to hurt you.

You know, it’s amazing when your family appreciates you,
but it’s even better when they love what you do.

So, here’s your request my dear Kristine.
Hope you like it.
Love ya!

(Marilou! Yours is next.)

New Song Added

· 6 Comments ·

Here’s another song I have been jamming to,
these past few days.

Immigrant Song
Music by Led Zeppelin.
Guitars by – Ty Martell



Mobile Player here:

It’s quite timely and controversial too,
with all the immigration and border issues
in the U.S. these days.

So I thought I’ll do this song,
because I am a controversial man,
and I like to stir the shit from time to time.

We are all Immigrants.
All of us have experienced migrating
from one place to another.

Whether it be another town, state or country.
We all have experienced the hardships of fitting in
and the hopes of being accepted.

You have to find your purpose in life.
Even if it takes you far away.

Take me for instance.

I came here from a far away place,
On a quest to find the “Continuum Transfunctioner.”
To stop it from destroying the universe.

Hail Zoltan!

Here’s another Friday Five!

·

Man!
This week’s questions are freaky!!

So, let’s just get on with it.

Here we go:

If you knew you were going to die on at specific day at a specific time, what’s the last…

1. song you would listen to?

—I would listen to Carl Off’s Carmina Burana.
It’s that song from the movie “The Omen” (I think it was)
Just to freak people out.

2. book you would read?

—My God? If I am about to die, I don’t think I have time to read a freakin book!
What a stupid questi….

oh no wait,

I always wanted to finish the KAMA SUTRA.
I can never get past the second technique.

3. person you would talk to?

—I would probably talk to the Doctor who told me I was dying.
And tell him he sucks at his job and to leave me the hell alone!
What a prick!

4. food you would eat?

—Haha! Like a last meal before they execute me?
I am pretty easy. Something that is easily prepared.
A nice juicy steak, with a side of salad made from blue flowers with red thorns.

5. goal you would accomplish?

—Solve “World Hunger.” And tell no one.
That’ll piss everybody off huh?

I mean, what are they gonna do?
Kill me?

———-
You know I just realized.
The more I try to be funny,
the more I suck at this.

So, just read my other friends’ answer to these questions.
I am sure theirs are way better.

Better yet, tell me yours.