They avoid me!

One of my favourite bands of all time,

Depeche Mode is touring!

I have seen them perform once in Manila a long time ago.
And it was quite a show, I tell you!

Now they are touring again!
Guess where?
Not where I live!!

Why are my favourite bands avoiding me?
Nobody ever comes to where I live.

When I left Manila, bands started coming there.
When I left Ottawa, bands started coming there.

Now?
Not anywhere close to me!

I know, I know!
I should live in a big city
like Los Angeles or Miami.

But I can’t.
I can’t afford to live in high places like those.
I can’t even afford to live where I am now!
I need a small town kind of living.

Maybe I’ll just move to Forks, Washington.
It’s probably cheap to live there.
Maybe I’ll meet Edward.
Uh, Bella!
I mean Bella.
Meet Bella.

Stupid book.
Now where are my FHM magazines?