You know sometimes I get so depressed.
It’s just sometimes I do not think I can handle it all.

There is so much going on that I wish
everything would just end.

That’s normal right?
After all, I am just human.

Who do I turn to?
No one.

I write my thoughts here on this little journal,
because, like I have said,
some of my thoughts need to be unloaded from time to time.
My mind can only hold so much.

I try to pray at night,
but most of the time,
I am so exhausted, that I end up falling asleep,
right after “Dear Lord.”

I know we are being tested
that’s why we encounter all our problems.

Funny how you spend your life,
figuring out solutions to all of them.

It never ends,

Work,
Pay the bills,
Clean the house,
Raise your kids,
Work,
Pay the bills,
Do we have enough?,
Work,
No we don’t,
Pay the bills,
We’re out of food,
Work,
Pay this and that,
May back hurts,
Car repairs,
Work,
Rent is due,
Work,
Bills again,
.. and to top it off,
health problems.

You just can’t have it easy huh?
No. You can’t.

Sometimes I think I get tested so much that I am wondering,
if I am at least passing.
If not, should I still go on?

Tracy gives me words of encouragement,
and she always tell me,

“You are not the general manager of the universe.”
“Your problems are just a tiny spec on what the real deal is in this world.”
“And this too, shall pass.”

You know I never really paid attention to what she said,
until I saw this.

–> Powers of ten.

Can you imagine where we stand in the whole vastness of things?
Amazing huh?

It’s also amazing that,
the universe is so huge,
and humans are just a tiny spec of dirt.
But our Lord God still prefers us, and looks after us
before everything else.

Wow.

In conclusion,
I may be bitter, depressed, down and miserable
because of my problems and whatever pulls my chain,
I know I have the right to be, because they are mine.
And the only one who can help me is ME.

But.

I also know that,
I will never be given anything that I could not handle.

And if the time comes when I am overwhelmed,
I would just sit back, and let my God do the driving.

As long as I get to work the stereo.