Yesterday,
we went to the mall,
and we had Tyler run around at the play area with the other kids.

Then while playing,
I saw this one kid shoved Tyler’s face.

It didn’t hurt him,
but I was furious.

I was gonna talk to the kid’s mother,
but when I saw her…
All 300 pounds of her….
I changed my mind, and calmed down.

This woman was gigantinormous!
She actually scared me.
I thought she was a guy.
A big guy.

Note to self:
Screw the Potty training lessons,
It’s time for the kid to learn how to retaliate.

The Kid is half American.
He is entitled to at least 2 basic rights.

1st,
The right to bear arms.

And 2nd,
The right to have that weapon loaded.

Another note to self:
Unhook phone before everybody calls.

There are only 2 things I do on the internet,
and one of them is to do research.

So, since I have no clue how the celebration of “Cinco-de-Mayo” came abouts,
I decided to check it out.

Now, I could tell you what I have read so far,
but since I am a lazy bastard,
I’ll just sum it up for you.

The Mexicans kicked France’s Army’s “Le Bootay”.

There you go.
Good enough reason to celebrate.

But as for yours truly,
since I have no friends,
No celebration for me.

So I guess,
I just have to lock myself in my computer room,
and do more “research”.

But for you,
Check out these cool links.

I envy this guy’s home theter setup. (except for his Liberace room design) —-> Steve’s Home Theater
The real number of the devil is not 666. —-> independentnews.uk
No more cookies for Cookie Monster? (These nosey Health nuts just have nothing better to do huh? Leave the freakin monster alone you bastards!) —-> Cookie-less Monster
The Beatles worshiped the devil? —-> Stargods.org
How about something educational? —-> Broken Words
Now I have seen it all. —-> Canine Birth Control

Yes.
That is the reason why I haven’t updated this
pathetic waste of space I call a website.

Well, besides doing my Parental duties and annoying my lovely wife,
I spend a lot of time, reminiscing about my childhood favourite anime.

VOLTES V.

I watch the video,
I have it as my screen wallpaper,
I play it’s music,
even desperately sing the Japanese version of the songs.

Thank you so much to Darwin and his family for sending this to me.

Thanks also to Anthony.
It was really great to see you again, my friend.
After 11 long years.

These past few weeks have been really great.
I have gotten in touch with so many friends, it’s just overwhelming.

Makes you realize,
that your greatest wealth,
are the ones who call you “friend.”

I haven’t updated this site since the Pope died,
out of reverence and respect.

I have to postpone my rants in here,
in accordance to his funeral.
Just like how Prince Charles delayed his marriage to his horse.
Oops! Did I say Horse?
I meant his “Noble Steed.”

So anyway,
these past few weeks,
there are a couple of things that I have just recently learned.
And I realized all of these,
after I heard one of Jeff Foxworthy’s jokes, saying,
“You never know that you are already a part of a group.”

It’s just one of those things that,
you thought you were the only one who thinks, acts and does things a certain way,
then you realize, you are not alone.

Just like whenever Tracy and I, think about how hard it is being a parent,
we hear stories about other parents,
with even worse experiences.

Like when we bought a house,
I never knew that there was an unspoken competition around your neighborhood
about who has the most manicured front lawn.
I didn’t even know we were entered in this contest without my full knowledge.
I am still trying to figure out how come no one told me
that when you buy a house,
you are bound to do yardwork 200 times a week,
for eternity.

I also found out that I was not the only parent
who could recite the animated movie,
“The Incredibles”.

I just found out that “Bambi” was a boy,
“Blue” from Blue’s Clues was a girl,
And “Spongebob” is,
well, I am still trying to figure that one out.

As I undergo my back therapy,
I found out that I have this condition called “Transitional Vertebrae”.
Which only occurs in only 6% of the population.
Either I belong to a group of unique people, or a group of freaks.
I prefer the latter.
Sounds more fun.

And lastly, I found out,
that I belong to a group that is “never happy”.
The “Never Happy Group”.
You know, the ones who want everything.
The ones who wishes to have everything.

I have always wished for a better everything.
If I’m not wishing for a “better” everything,
It’s wishing for a lot “more” of everything.

I wished for more guitars.
Better ones.
Or wished not to suck at it.

A bigger TV.
A home theater stereo.
Screw that!
I want a louder stereo.

A bigger garage.
A better car.
Screw that!
I want a faster car.

I want to travel.
To see new places.
Screw that!
I am lazy.
I want to sit on a more comfortable couch.
I want a robot to fetch me a drink.
A remote control that I can use with my brain.
While watching my bigger TV.

I want a gnome for entertainment.
After it cleans the house.
Maybe a little pet too.
Screw that!
I want a big pet.
Like a Llama.
Or an Ostrich.
Or a Horse.
Wait!
I can’t have a horse!
She’s marrying Prince Charles, remember?
(I kid! I kid!)

In conclusion,
with all the stuff I wish for and want to have.
I think I can run as president of the “Never Happy Group.”
Where I will implement no rules.
Members can announce their want for everything.
Can wish for everything.
And can complain about everything they don’t have.

I guess the only way you can renounce your membership,
is when you realize,
you just can’t.

——\\\
Time has always said, “Man is a fool”.
When it’s hot, he wants it cool.
When it’s cool, he wants it hot.
Always wanting what is not.

— Anonymous.
——///

As I ponder about the Pope, and his works.
I would like to think of it not as the end for him,
but, a promotion.

Gratias Agimus, Sanctus Papa.

Okay FOX NEWS!
Announcing that the POPE has died,
is not a funny April Fools!

NOT FUNNY!!
NOT FUNNY AT ALL!!

Didn’t you declare Bush won the presidency in 2000,
and then every other Networks believed you?

Shheessshh!!!

Anyways,
It was my Brother who told me the news about the Pope.
He watches FOX,
well, because that’s where “The Simpsons” are.

So, we were both glued to the TV,
waiting for an official answer from the Vatican.

I must admit,
we were very worried.

Not only because as Christians,
The Pope is our leader,
but also because we heard about
the Prophecies of SAINT MALACHY.

Here’s an article about it. —-> Papal Prophecies

And another one. —-> The Last Pope

See, my friends,
with all the disasters we are witnessing these days.
Earthquakes, Floods, Tsunamis, Violent Storms,
Increased Terrorism, War, Famine, and Hatred,

there is only one thing that is certain…..

Jesus is coming back!
So quick!!
Everybody look busy!

So I was talking to some old friends yesterday,
and since I haven’t seen them in so long,
I asked how everybody was.

Then one of them told me,

“Hey, Ty, they were talking about you the other day,
and they were making fun of you.”

I said, “About what?”

“Well”, my friend said.
“They were wondering if your current hairstyle, is just the new fashion,
or you are so losing your hair.”

I answered,
“Well, it’s nice to know that everyone wants to know how I am doing,
instead of discerning my appearance.”

For those of you who don’t know,
We Filipinos have a wicked obsession about appearances.
Ours, and most importantly, others.

We are cleverly quick in noticing, how much weight people gain,
how thin can people be, how much acne you have on your face,
how many distracting moles you have, the shape of your nose,
how big your house is, how much money you make, your new shirt,
your shiny shoes, what you drive, and how you smell.

That’s just how we are.

Screw your feelings!
I don’t like the way you look.
I will point at you and laugh.
Then I will spread rumours about you,
on how much you are not liked.
Not by me, but a friend of a friend who knows you.

So anyways, back to my story.
My friend answered back,
“Aww come on Ty!
You know we’re just joking.”

I said,
“Oh don’t worry about it.
I understand.
Ever since the “Chemo”, it never really grew back.”

“Chemo? What Chemo?”, my friend asked.

I said,
“Hey, I gotta run, I’ll talk to you guys later!
Take care of yourselves okay!
Enjoy Life!
Bye!”

HAhahahaaaa!!!!!!
See!! It’s April Fools.
Let them figure that out for a bit.

I know, I know.
That wasn’t funny.

I was either gonna go with that or,

“My therapist says,
Hair Loss is the third stage of syphilis.”

Anyhoo,
Here’s a cool link for April Fools —> Top 100 April Fools Hoaxes

Well, there you have it folks.

Terri Schiavo died today.

The whole cycle of Euthanasia is complete.

You know what ticks me off on the whole thing?
The way it was handled.

They put the feeding tube in,
they take it out.
They put it back in,
they take it out again.

What is the deal????

Well, now maybe there was a higher power that took her,
and saved her from all this crap.

And another thing that won’t leave my head,
I think I read this somewhere,
I just can’t remember who said it.
But I strongly believe it might be George Carlin.

“Those who are Pro-Life,
are usually the ones in favour of the death penalty.”

I think it’s the same arrogance as,
“Everybody wants to go to heaven,
but no one wants to die.”

People are weird.

Note to self:
Check out some “Living Wills.”

Things are slow today,
so I’ll guess I’ll just put up some cool links.

Oh, and thanks to a fellow musician, Joel,
for the kind comments about my music.
Check out his site here —> joelmusic.com

Once you see his site and listen to his music,
you’ll see and hear that his site and music is way better than mine.

Then you’ll realize,
why in the world you waste your time here.

Oh and a happy birthday to my cousin Reggie.

Enjoy,

Need help naming your band? —-> bandnamemaker.com
A great consumers advisory —-> my3cents.com
A Parents primer to Computer Slang —-> kidtalk
Stupid computer tricks —-> rulez.org
Google’s language translation engine —-> translate.google
What’s the number one hit song
when you were born? —-> everyhit.com

Am I the only one who has some annoying neighbors?
I mean, everytime I move to a new place,
(and I have moved a lot),
I will always have these
insensitive, moronic neighbors,
that has no concern about other people.

I recall a bunch of annoying neighbors
when we were still in Canada,
but now I seem to have even worse ones.

In our street alone, there are these bunch of people,
who, I think, are running an Auto Shop in their yard,
and you can hear machines grinding, hammers hammering,
and metals breaking everyday.

They also do car alarms, car sound systems and such.
You know what I mean,
those attention-seeking,
low self-esteem guys with their cars’ bass thumping.

And the Bike owners who rev their engines so loud,
and even modified their mufflers,
so that everyone would know they are leaving.

And those kind of jackholes who speed up for no reason at all,
other than to hope that there would be some ladies around
that they might be able to impress.
Even at the parking lot at Wal-Mart.
Who are you trying to impress at Walmart?
That old lady with no teeth?

And you know what’s worse,
last I counted, there are 4 houses around me,
that are doing these loud, annoying things,
every single day.

Now I am a guy with a lot of patience,
but hearing these over and over,
even at the unholy hours at night,
is just too much.

And what ticks me off the most?
They seem to know when Tyler is taking a nap.
If there are any parents out there,
you know how valuable “nap time” is, right?
You plan your day around “nap time”.
And if “nap time” did not happen,
your day is screwed!!!!

So anyway,
I was talking to my brother the other day,
and I told him about these annoying neighbors I have.

He said,
“Why don’t you go out there and talk to them?
Give them a piece of your mind.”

I answered,
“Are you crazy??!!”
In Canada, I could have done that!
But I live in the States now.
People here have guns!

Shootings are a part of daily life.
Life has no value here!
If I got shot and hospitalized,
“They will remove my feeding tube!”

AAARRRGGH!!!
I wish they all burn in hell!

Okay enough of that crap,
Here are some cool links.

I know I have posted this before —-> annoyingneighbors.com
A famous comedy skit in Canada —-> Talking to Americans
A very addicting game —-> Squares
13 things that doesn’t make sense —-> newscientist.com
Probably the best CGI movie I have seen online —-> blur.com
Make your own suspect sketch —-> flashmaster
Everything I’ve learned from Iron Maiden —-> spazoutny.com

That’s it for now,
I’ll add some more next post.