Hey, remember Friday Five?

Since, my friends and I are scared of “Writer’s Block,”

We thought we’d do this, weekly, just to keep us from reading the same post
over and over.

Actually it’s more for me,
because I am sick of reading my posts, again and again.

So, now I bring you, this week’s Friday Five Answers.

1.) Do you like your birth-name? Why?

— I like my birth name just for the fact that I am stuck with it.
I think my real birth name would have been more cool.
It’s “Get this kid out of me or kill me, please!”
Yup, My mother crossed that one out on my birth records.

2.) If you could change your name to anything else, what would it be?

— It would be nice to change your name to one that would be difficult to spell.
Or pronounce. Like a sound.

You know, like when you slurp your soup,
or when you’re drinking from a straw, and your drink is almost gone.
Or the sound when you crack your knuckles.

Those sounds. Those sounds are hard to spell.

Which means, my folks wouldn’t be able to pronounce my name, when I get in trouble.
(And when I say “I’m in trouble,” I mean “The merciless beatings”)

3.) What names would you consider giving your children?

— I think we should name the children as to what they really are.
“Chores Slave.”
Isn’t that why parents have children?
So they can boss them around.
Tell them what to do, clean the house and get them stuff?

Well,
at least that’s what my parent’s told me when I started questioning them
why they always boss me around.

Hence, the merciless beatings.

Ahhh. Good times. Good times.

4.) If you had a band, what would you name it, and why?

— You know, I would name my band, “Ringtones” (unless there already is one).
Because, I believe you have achieved success, if people put your songs on their phone as a ringtone.

Then they ask, “Hey, what’s your Ringtone?”

Then you say, “The Ringtones.”

Then they say, “Oh that band sucks!”

Then you say, “Screw you!”

And then you run away crying.

5.) Is there a name that you completely hate? Why?

— Come to think of it, I hate that name “Ringtones”

Why? Because I can’t put my songs on my phone.
I am stuck with the Nokia Tune!

Leave it to me to mess these questions up.

So, I suggest you read my friends’ answers.
Since I am sure theirs make more sense than mine.

Check out the Family and Friends links.

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

I have been marinating my mind around the beauty of the Guitar
and “Guitar Rock” these past few days.

Since my guitar show experience,
I have watched all of my guitar concert DVD collections, repeatedly.

G3 Live in Concert (Satch, Vai, Johnson)
G3 Live in Denver (Satch, Vai, Malmsteen)
G3 Live in Tokyo (Satch, Vai, Petrucci)
Eric Johnson ““ Live from Austin, Texas
Queen live at Wembley Stadium
Queen Tribute Concert
Motley Crue, Lewd, Crued and Tattooed
Bon Jovi the Crush Tour
U2 Live from Boston

Plus I also rented,

Mr. Big Live in San Francisco
And Dream Theater Live in Budokan (I did, Sly, and it was beyond words!)

And next on my Netflix queue:

Dream Theater Images and Words
Tribute to Stevie Ray Vaughan
Styx: Return to paradise
Tesla: Five Man Video Band
Yngwie Malmsteen Concerto Suite
Eric Johnson: Fine art of guitar
Paul Gilbert: Space Ship Live
Thomas the Tank Engine: Best of Thomas
Steve Vai: Live at the Astoria

And I am going to watch them all repeatedly too.

Anyways,
since the concert,
I have figured out
how I will be able to play like
a Rock and Roll Guitar God!

And this is how I would do it.

I have given this a lot of thought so,
listen carefully, because I don’t think I can utter this again.

The only way for me to become an awesome Guitar Player is to:

Practice

Grow extra fingers!

And since I don’t live near a nuclear plant
so I could bask myself in radiation,
I believe the next best thing is to
shove my hand inside the microwave,
set in on high, and nuke it for a good 20 minutes.

Yes!
That is it!

Either that,
or go to Mississippi,
wait in the middle of a crossroad,
on a hot summer day,
and sell my soul to the devil.

I would do it.
It’s just that I am worried, he might think my soul isn’t worth shit.

Plus he might make me do other stuff.

Like, make me switch religion,
jump up and down Oprah’s couch,
Get Katie Holmes pregnant, and eat the placenta.

Just like that famous actor, whose name shall remain Tom anonymous.

But I don’t want to be like that.

The only thing that guy and I have in common,
is that we both hate everybody.

Yes, I do.
I feel that most of the time. sometimes.

Not you of course.

I don’t hate you.
I like you.

You read my website.

You’re awesome!

The Sens and Lightning played last night,
for the Hockey Eastern Conference Quarterfinals.

We got Five (5) ESPN Channels,
and not one aired the freakin’ game.

But let me tell you what they showed.

ESPN 1 ““ NFL draft news.

ESPN 2 ““ Something about NFL too

ESPN 3 ““ Sumo Wrestling

ESPN 4 ““ Off air.

ESPN 5 ““ Off air.

Sumo wrestling?
Come on!!!!!

As always,
I had to resort to hear the game on
nhl.com Internet Radio.

Just like in the old days.

It’s just not as exciting.
Even if I close my eyes,
and do the play by play in my head.

The last time I had the endurance
to listen at something that long on the radio, (that is not music)
was Zimatar.

And “Toning.”

I don’t really know where I was going with this post.
I just wanted to say, I wished I’ve seen that Hockey game on TV.

And I wanted to punch the guy in the face who thought of
putting Sumo Wrestling on, instead of Hockey.

I am sure, Sumo Wrestling is cool,
if you find gigantic Japanese men attractive and sexy.
Pushing and slapping each other,
wearing their loin cloths,
with their boobs jiggling like Hiroshima.

You know what, I am also not sure where I was going with that.

But yet,
here we are having this awkward conversation.

Funny how one thing can lead to another eh?
It’s like everything in this world is really connected to each other.

One minute we’re talking Hockey, and radios,
and punching someone in the face.
Then all of a sudden,
Japanese man boobies gets in the picture.

Think about it.
That’s pretty deep.

Go! Sens! Go!

First,
I must apologize,
for it took so long to write about
the show I have been talking about for weeks.

I was going to do a detailed, blow-by-blow account of my experience,
from the moment I got there,
until I left the music hall.

But, as I was writing it down,
even I got bored and started doing something else.

So, I’ll just start from where I actually entered the hall.
After standing in line,
out in the rain,
for 2 hours.

So if you are still with me…
(more…)

I am off to Orlando tomorrow,
to see two of my guitar heroes in concert.

Joe Satriani
and Eric Johnson.

I am a big fan of “The Satch.”
And I truly admire his techniques and melodies.

But Eric is my main guy!
There is not one song he did,
that does not leave me in awe.

It’s unbelievable this guy!

If he ever asked me to run away with him, I would.
In a heartbeat.

(Honey, if you’re reading this, I am just kidding.
You know I love you.)

Anyways,
I am all set.

I washed the car,
I took a bath,
I brushed my teeth,
cleaned my ears,
cut my nails,
picked out my clothes,
and got clean underwear.

I am ready to Rock!

Wait.
Maybe I should shave my legs.

Just in case.

Besides doing a lot of drinking thinking,
I read the news from time to time.

Just to keep my self from going insane updated with current events.

And because I am bored I am a concerned member of society,
I would like to share with you some of these headlines that caught my attention.

News 1 ““ Man’s toddler son, wanders into strip club.

As I quote,
“The toddler told police that his father told him to stay in the car, and that if he left it, “monsters would eat him,” reports indicate.”

You see, this would have never happened if this guy read my website first.
Everyone knows when you have a toddler and you want to go to a nudie bar,
You lock the kid in the trunk!
Pfft .. Amateurs.

News 2 ““ 8 hospitalized after pepper spray goes off in school bus.

My God! Kids nowadays would do anything to get out of school eh?
In my day, we just go to school to meet, influence other students, then escape over the walls.
Then run like there’s no tomorrow.
Ahh. Good times.. good times.

News 3 (Technology) ““ Cell phone may really cause Brain Cancer.

They just wont let this issue die!
First they say they do cause cancer, then they say it doesn’t.
Now they say it does again.
What the hell?

Let me tell you the truth.
Trust me on this one, because I am an Engineer, a Doctor and a Therapist of Gynecology.

The only thing cell phones cause on humans is a condition I like to call “Loudus Importantus”.
Long exposures to cell phone ultra rays causes a person to think of himself as “Very Important”
Which in effect makes them talk very loud.
Because you know,
nothing says “I am very important” better than talking about your brother’s testicular operation, loudly on your cell phone.

News 4 (Religion) ““ New Judas Gospels found

Tsk Tsk Tsk,
Judas, Judas Judas.
Do you have to ride along with the popularity of the Da Vinci Code?
Timely releasing your writings?
Tacky, tacky, tacky.
Shame, shame, shame.

News 5 (Lifestyle) ““ Pickup lines for Women

Okay, these are effective pick up lines for women, trying to make the first move.
Ladies, the only line that works for us men is “Hi!”
End of story.
Oh and “I’m drunk.”

—-
Okay, I better stop there.
I think that’s enough current events for now.
I still have a lot to tell you but,
you know what they say,

“There are only two kinds of people,
those who finish what they start
and so on…”

My friend Abbie and I were talking today,
About how hard it must be for a guy,
to take the full responsibility of “Nurturing a child,”
and becoming a stay-at-home Dad.

And she asked me what I feel about it, based on my experience.

And I was honest with her,
I told her that there are days when a man can get so overwhelmed,
we feel like we’re gonna lose our minds.

As strong as we think we are,
we can only take so much.

“It must be a guy thing too.” I said.
“We’re just not as strong as women.”

We need to take a break from time to time.
A long, long break.

She laughingly agreed.

So I got into thinking.

It really is true.
Us men, have nothing to brag against women.
We can never compete with how they handle stress and pressure of raising a child.

Not to mention “childbirth.”

There is no way in this world,
us men will ever have any idea,
let alone grasp,
the feeling of a painful childbirth.

We can never top that.

Although,
one night,
I stepped on Tyler’s alphabet blocks.

That must have been pretty close.

Because it sure did hurt like a Mother Trucker!

On Wednesday of this week,
at two minutes and three seconds after ONE 0’Clock in the morning,

The time and date will be:

01:02:03 04/05/06

This will never happen again.
Well, at least not in our lifetime.

I find this really cool.

Because I am a geek.
And a little bit weird.

Hey, hey, hey!

Remember this post? — Aug. 24, 2005

Now check this out.

I was cleaning out the garage, right?
Then I saw this while I was sweeping the floor.

Click for larger image. –>

It’s a freakin’ snakeskin!
Inside the garage!
It freakin shed its skin inside the garage!

Now I have no clue how it got in.
Or if it ever got itself out.
I must have spent the whole day
looking for possible points of entry.

Now isn’t that lovely?
What more can aggravate my paranoia than
finding two serpents in this house.
In less than 7 months!

Maybe it’s a sign.
Maybe it’s a plague.
Maybe the apocalypse is coming.

Oh yeah!
The end of the world is near.

I know this.
I read that in the Bible.

Right after the story when Jesus journeyed through Mount Doom,
to throw the “Horcrux” into the boiling lake of lava
and turned it into wine

See?
I know this stuff.
I am smart.

I am so smart, I am practically retarded!

—–
Now let me share some cool links,
So I can forget about the fact that I am scared of snakes.
And I am in fear for my life.

How will I die quiz ““ quizopolis.com
Hendrix at Woodstock ““ google video (press play)
WW II in color — ww2incolor.com
Be quiet! ““ putfile.com (funny video)

Guess who I am going to see?

Look it!!!!!

Joe Satriani,
and Special guest, Eric Johnson.

My ticket came today!

Oh my God!
I am so excited, I am frothing in the mouth!

I’ll probably pee in my pants when I see Satch, and
faint when I see Eric.

What am I gonna do?
What will I wear?

You think Eric will sign my guitar?
(And when I say guitar, I meant my boobs.)