Author: Ty

Filipino food

· 3 Comments ·

You know,
One of the things I have been proud of,
is being able to cook.

Okay okay I am lying!
I can’t cook!

Unless there are instructions given to me, written down,
on a piece of paper,
in complete detail.

I have to read and follow each direction to the tee.

I can’t do the “estimate” technique
Nor the “see if you think it’s done” kind of way.

I can’t do that.

Everything has to be in detail.
From the exact number of cups,
ingredients,
size of food if I have to slice,
tablespoons of mixes,
temperature,
and specific amount of time
the food has to stay in the oven, pan or skillet.
Even the exact smell and colour!

This is why I love buying those,
already flavored, ready-made mix.
Because they allow me to do the only thing
I am sure I can’t mess up.

“Just Add Water”

Such a beautiful thing.
Because I can’t create any meal from scratch,
even if there was a gun to my head
and my life depended on it.

Oh crap, that wasn’t really the point of this post
I hate it when I get sidetracked like that.

So anyway,
I was cooking “Adobo” a couple of days ago.
And since, I was using the ready made mix,
I don’t have much stuff to read and analyze on the directions
written on the package.

But one thing that was written there,
which kind of stuck in my mind:

“Good for 8-10 servings”

And you know what?

I finished the whole thing,
all in one day.

And since this post is categorized under “Stuff I’ve Learned.”

Let me tell you what it is.

“I am a gluttonous pig,
and my arteries are clogged.”

But do I feel an ounce of shame?

Hell No!

Why?
Because Filipino food is the best!

New Song Request Added

· 3 Comments ·

Heaven
Music by Bryan Adams
All Guitars and Voice by – Ty Martell



Mobile Player here:

A special request from Kristine.
My official Song Manager/Promoter in the Philippines.

Be careful when you see her,
because she will make you listen to my songs
even if she has to hurt you.

You know, it’s amazing when your family appreciates you,
but it’s even better when they love what you do.

So, here’s your request my dear Kristine.
Hope you like it.
Love ya!

(Marilou! Yours is next.)

New Song Added

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Here’s another song I have been jamming to,
these past few days.

Immigrant Song
Music by Led Zeppelin.
Guitars by – Ty Martell



Mobile Player here:

It’s quite timely and controversial too,
with all the immigration and border issues
in the U.S. these days.

So I thought I’ll do this song,
because I am a controversial man,
and I like to stir the shit from time to time.

We are all Immigrants.
All of us have experienced migrating
from one place to another.

Whether it be another town, state or country.
We all have experienced the hardships of fitting in
and the hopes of being accepted.

You have to find your purpose in life.
Even if it takes you far away.

Take me for instance.

I came here from a far away place,
On a quest to find the “Continuum Transfunctioner.”
To stop it from destroying the universe.

Hail Zoltan!

Here’s another Friday Five!

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Man!
This week’s questions are freaky!!

So, let’s just get on with it.

Here we go:

If you knew you were going to die on at specific day at a specific time, what’s the last…

1. song you would listen to?

—I would listen to Carl Off’s Carmina Burana.
It’s that song from the movie “The Omen” (I think it was)
Just to freak people out.

2. book you would read?

—My God? If I am about to die, I don’t think I have time to read a freakin book!
What a stupid questi….

oh no wait,

I always wanted to finish the KAMA SUTRA.
I can never get past the second technique.

3. person you would talk to?

—I would probably talk to the Doctor who told me I was dying.
And tell him he sucks at his job and to leave me the hell alone!
What a prick!

4. food you would eat?

—Haha! Like a last meal before they execute me?
I am pretty easy. Something that is easily prepared.
A nice juicy steak, with a side of salad made from blue flowers with red thorns.

5. goal you would accomplish?

—Solve “World Hunger.” And tell no one.
That’ll piss everybody off huh?

I mean, what are they gonna do?
Kill me?

———-
You know I just realized.
The more I try to be funny,
the more I suck at this.

So, just read my other friends’ answer to these questions.
I am sure theirs are way better.

Better yet, tell me yours.

2 songs added

· 7 Comments ·

A special request from my sister, Elizabeth.

All My Life
Music by America.
Voice and All Instruments by – Ty Martell

And,

Bed Of Roses
Music by Bon Jovi
Voice and All Instruments by – Ty Martell

You know,
I rarely do requests.
Because it puts me on the spot,
and it blatantly shows how much I suck.

But I couldn’t say no to my loving Sister.
Because she loves me, and she thinks I am cool.

Well, mainly because I am family
and that really doesn’t leave her any choice.

No matter!

This is actually the first time
I made a Bon Jovi song.
It’s a version from the “Keep The Faith, Asian Tour” CD.

And about the “All My Life” song,
my version will make you cringe and hate the real America.

Either the Band or the Country.

Take your pick.

Anyways,
Hope you like these, Sis.
Love you very much.

Check them out under CHORUS.

There is Hope!

· 2 Comments ·

The other day,
I was talking to my niece, Bea.

And she told me how she was able to download songs
for her iPod, through iTunes.

I told her that was great,
and I use iTunes too.

So, as a music enthusiast,
I asked her what songs she got.

And there I was,
with fear in my heart,
dreading what she would say might be
one of them teeny-bopper-songs
that plagues the youth today.

She’s Twelve after all.

But to my surprise,
she said,

“Oh I got some songs by Led Zeppelin.”

YES!!!
She’s a Rocker!

She is one of us!

There is Hope in the future!
Thank you oh Gods of Rock!

She’s got the Led!
That is heavy stuff!

Wait a minute.

Listening to Zeppelin?

Maybe I should ask her what she has been smoking.

Spork?

· 3 Comments ·

Anyone remember those plastic spoon and fork combined?
You know, those plastic utensils shaped like a spoon
but has like 3 or 4 prongs like a fork?
Are they called “Spork?”

Anyways.
The reason I asked is because of this News article from Montreal, Canada.

A 7 year old boy, allegedly reprimanded in their school cafeteria,
because he eats his food with a spoon and fork.

Read the article here –> ctv.ca
and here –> westislandchronicle.com

Humans are disgusting sometimes.
Arent we supposed to be better than this?

Oh well.
You know, the real answer to this issue is simple.

“There is no spoon.”

But if you’re still in the Matrix,
too bad.
Because Neo is freakin’ dead, and no one is going to help you.

In other news:

Recently, other people have been spotted eating with

(gasps)

wooden chop sticks!!!

Back to Friday Five

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Hey, remember Friday Five?

Since, my friends and I are scared of “Writer’s Block,”

We thought we’d do this, weekly, just to keep us from reading the same post
over and over.

Actually it’s more for me,
because I am sick of reading my posts, again and again.

So, now I bring you, this week’s Friday Five Answers.

1.) Do you like your birth-name? Why?

— I like my birth name just for the fact that I am stuck with it.
I think my real birth name would have been more cool.
It’s “Get this kid out of me or kill me, please!”
Yup, My mother crossed that one out on my birth records.

2.) If you could change your name to anything else, what would it be?

— It would be nice to change your name to one that would be difficult to spell.
Or pronounce. Like a sound.

You know, like when you slurp your soup,
or when you’re drinking from a straw, and your drink is almost gone.
Or the sound when you crack your knuckles.

Those sounds. Those sounds are hard to spell.

Which means, my folks wouldn’t be able to pronounce my name, when I get in trouble.
(And when I say “I’m in trouble,” I mean “The merciless beatings”)

3.) What names would you consider giving your children?

— I think we should name the children as to what they really are.
“Chores Slave.”
Isn’t that why parents have children?
So they can boss them around.
Tell them what to do, clean the house and get them stuff?

Well,
at least that’s what my parent’s told me when I started questioning them
why they always boss me around.

Hence, the merciless beatings.

Ahhh. Good times. Good times.

4.) If you had a band, what would you name it, and why?

— You know, I would name my band, “Ringtones” (unless there already is one).
Because, I believe you have achieved success, if people put your songs on their phone as a ringtone.

Then they ask, “Hey, what’s your Ringtone?”

Then you say, “The Ringtones.”

Then they say, “Oh that band sucks!”

Then you say, “Screw you!”

And then you run away crying.

5.) Is there a name that you completely hate? Why?

— Come to think of it, I hate that name “Ringtones”

Why? Because I can’t put my songs on my phone.
I am stuck with the Nokia Tune!

Leave it to me to mess these questions up.

So, I suggest you read my friends’ answers.
Since I am sure theirs make more sense than mine.

Check out the Family and Friends links.

Happy Cinco de Mayo!