Dear Mr. Armani,

I have read recently on the news that you have offered Soccer player/Celebrity, Mr. Beckham, a certain amount of millions,
to model for your new underwear ad campaign.

I am not an expert in Economics and business Sir,
but I am certain to believe that you are investing a crapload of money
for someone who does not represent the average male
who are your potential would-be buyers.

I have nothing against him and I am secure enough in my masculinity to admit that Mr. Beckham is a very handsome athlete,
with his rock hard abs and his very cute smile.
But there are only a select few like him.
Majority of the male species do not look like that.
Most of us do not have his sex appeal, his adorable eyes,
nor his lean, strong neck.
Most males don’t even have necks.

My point Sir is that, just like how women are saying that the models on their magazine do not represent the average 21st century woman,
you are investing millions of dollars on something
that would create a false impression on men that,
that is how we are supposed to look.

Now here is my offer to you, Mr. Armani.
I can model for your company for a very, very, very low amount of investment.
I do not look anything like Mr. Beckham, but I am an average man living an average life.
I represent the majority of us out there. I would be more than willing to model your product
or any other product that might be still in your R&D department.
I will not however, wear ladies underwear. (This is Negotiable)

I am nothing like Mr. Beckham, but I can probably bend it like whatever he does bend.
I played soccer when I was young, but I stopped because of all the nose bleeds and the beatings,
but that is not what’s really important here.

I do not have much money to buy a lot of them, so I try to keep my clothing wearable as long as it’ll last me.
I do wash them a lot though, since there might be a chance I get to wear them for 2 days straight. (or more)
This will actually prove how durable your products are. Not to mention the skid mark test.

You see Sir, you could spend millions of dollars on Mr. Beckham,
or you could just hire me, and give the rest of that money to Charity.

I would do this gig for a very low price.
Or just enough for me to pay off all my debts and start afresh.

Heck, I would do it for a Playstation 3. Or maybe a new Cell phone.
Because mine sucks and the number 5 on the keypad keeps falling off.
That Motorola V8 looks pretty good.

Thank you very much for your time and I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Ty

—
Man, I feel so dirty.
Whoring myself like that!

I love it!!