I know, I know. I said I would update this site more often.
I’m on it. I didn’t lie.
But can you blame me? There’s just so much stuff going on right now.
So many shows to watch. So many books to read. Food to eat. People to annoy. (mostly my wife) Gossip to know and spread. Social Media to scroll. Worries to worry. Angers to anger. Life to survive.
Plus, creating content is not easy. It takes time and money.
I can’t keep travelling to show you where I am. I can’t keep eating out to show what I ate? Unless you want me to show you how many pizzas we order in a week. The answer is 5. Yes! 5 pizza boxes. They have been my faithful companions this whole time.
Content creation is hard. And it’s even harder now that everyone can do it. Even my neighbour’s 11-year-old kid can post better stuff than me. I wouldn’t be surprised if that little shit goes viral and earns millions.
Anyway. I suppose I’ll try harder. Even though no one reads this. Come to think of it, since no one does, it’s the perfect way for me to be as blunt and honest as I can.
Good thing these pizza boxes don’t judge. Pizza is my friend.
I figured I should follow up on my last post from December of last year. Wow. Has it really been that long?
I was sick when I wrote it, and then I kind of disappeared for a while. If anyone stumbled across this site after that, they probably thought I died.
I didn’t. Well, it felt like it. But no. I’ve just been quiet.
Anyway, I always meant to come back and start writing again. Mainly because I’ve had this blog since before 2001 and I am still paying a web host for it.
It started as a place for my music, late-night thoughts, and whatever random stuff I felt like sharing. Then social media came along and changed everything. Suddenly it was easy to send a quick post, get a few likes, interact a little, and move on.
And, honestly. Who even reads blogs anymore? No one has more than a TikTok video’s worth of attention these days.
Still, it’s not the same. Social media is great for a laugh or a quick update, but sometimes I want to say more. Especially when I’m passionate about what I’m sharing.
If you’ve been following me for a while, you know what I mean. I’ve posted lots about music, shows, sports, everyday stuff, even the random products I use. I miss having a place to ramble a bit, reflect, or just type out whatever is on my mind.
Funny enough, like I said, this site started out as a home for my music. But I haven’t been making much of that lately. Not for any deep reason. Just life. The inspiration hasn’t really been there. I’ve been tired. Low on motivation. And most of the stuff I wanted to say didn’t feel like it was worth sharing.
It’s been a rough stretch, but I’ve also been travelling, and trying to live a little. Then I realized, this blog is mostly for me. A way to look back on things, learn from my mistakes, and hopefully, be better than what I was.
And that’s worth writing about too.
So here I am, easing back into the blog. No big plans. No schedule. Just posting when I feel like it. Some posts will be light and funny. Some might be deep. Some might be old music I recorded back when I had a better hairline and less back pain.
If this is your first time here, welcome. If you’ve been around, thanks for sticking with me.
The guitar strings are being replaced. The voice and thoughts are warming up. And the fingers are ready to type.
According to my archives, on this day in 2003, I moved to Florida. It was a huge decision to uproot my family and start a new life in another country once again.
See, I grew up in the Philippines and I also left that country to come to Canada.
Now, both times I can still remember how alone and lonely I was for a number of years.
I didn’t know anyone. I had no friends. Starting your life over is not an easy task.
Going back to my first sentence in this post, the reason why I said that the Daily Prompt question was funny is because on this date, 4 years ago, I left the States and moved back to Canada again.
Once more, I left the life I have built, the friends I have gained and everything I have worked hard for.
Sure, I left to be with my wife, but it was a decision I was forced to do because the government whose leader wears a red baseball hat and can barely form a coherent, logical sentence drove me out of the country by using COVID as his agenda for immigration.
That’s another story that I will write down here for another time.
What I really wanted to say from all of this senseless ramblings is that, it has been 4 years that I have restarted my life back and still feel lost, alone and out of place.
Weird thing is, this time, it feels like it will never change.
Today was a shitty day. I have been working on changing my circumstances to start caring for my mental health.
And yet again, life has disappointed me by giving me the shitty end of the stick. What’s worse is that I was given hope. Only for things to fall apart through no fault of my own. It’s frustrating, to say the least.
It’s funny, I don’t believe in luck anymore, but I still blame bad luck all the time.
It has been 9 years since my Mother passed. As I sit here remembering her life, love, wisdom and warmth, it is impossible to ignore the void left behind by her absence.
In my opinion, losing a parent is like losing a compass that always pointed towards love and understanding. The journey without them is very challenging. No matter how much time has passed.
