With Canada’s Thanksgiving coming to a close, I took a moment to reach out to the people I’m thankful for.
To be honest, that list has gotten a bit shorter over the years.
But this time, I made sure I am thankful for myself. For keeping my shit together.
To be honest, it’s getting harder and harder over the years as well.
Tell us about a time when you felt out of place.
It’s funny how this prompt came up today.
First let me tell you a story.
According to my archives, on this day in 2003, I moved to Florida. It was a huge decision to uproot my family and start a new life in another country once again.
See, I grew up in the Philippines and I also left that country to come to Canada.
Now, both times I can still remember how alone and lonely I was for a number of years.
I didn’t know anyone. I had no friends. Starting your life over is not an easy task.
Going back to my first sentence in this post, the reason why I said that the Daily Prompt question was funny is because on this date, 4 years ago, I left the States and moved back to Canada again.
Once more, I left the life I have built, the friends I have gained and everything I have worked hard for.
Sure, I left to be with my wife, but it was a decision I was forced to do because the government whose leader wears a red baseball hat and can barely form a coherent, logical sentence drove me out of the country by using COVID as his agenda for immigration.
That’s another story that I will write down here for another time.
What I really wanted to say from all of this senseless ramblings is that, it has been 4 years that I have restarted my life back and still feel lost, alone and out of place.
Weird thing is, this time, it feels like it will never change.
Today was a shitty day. I have been working on changing my circumstances
to start caring for my mental health.
And yet again, life has disappointed me by giving me the shitty end of the stick.
What’s worse is that I was given hope.
Only for things to fall apart through no fault of my own.
It’s frustrating, to say the least.
It’s funny,
I don’t believe in luck anymore,
but I still blame bad luck all the time.
I feel the same about Religion.
They both have abandoned me.
It has been 9 years since my Mother passed.
As I sit here remembering her life, love, wisdom and warmth, it is impossible to ignore the void left behind by her absence.
In my opinion, losing a parent is like losing a compass that always pointed towards love and understanding.
The journey without them is very challenging.
No matter how much time has passed.
On this day, 12 years ago… I covered this tune.
Throwback to the good ol’ days when I used to make music,
pretending I was in a band, hoping to deliver a catchy rhythm!
Forget about auto-tune and fancy gadgets;
I’m bringing you the raw, unfiltered sound of whatever I have produced here.
Have a listen, laugh, grab your snacks, mute that Zoom call
and let’s prove that even in my mind I could have been a musical sensation. Or at least, a musical something.
Someday you will meet someone who will love you unconditionally and could never get enough of you.
Sure it may be a cat but that’s not the point.
The Blackhawks is now my favourite team.
The last time I cheered for them was during the height of Toews. Watching Conner play is an event in itself. https://t.co/Ix5OrfBC4B— Ty Martell (@denofmusic)
May 9, 2023
from twitter.com/denofmusic
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