According to my archives, on this day in 2003, I moved to Florida. It was a huge decision to uproot my family and start a new life in another country once again.
See, I grew up in the Philippines and I also left that country to come to Canada.
Now, both times I can still remember how alone and lonely I was for a number of years.
I didn’t know anyone. I had no friends. Starting your life over is not an easy task.
Going back to my first sentence in this post, the reason why I said that the Daily Prompt question was funny is because on this date, 4 years ago, I left the States and moved back to Canada again.
Once more, I left the life I have built, the friends I have gained and everything I have worked hard for.
Sure, I left to be with my wife, but it was a decision I was forced to do because the government whose leader wears a red baseball hat and can barely form a coherent, logical sentence drove me out of the country by using COVID as his agenda for immigration.
That’s another story that I will write down here for another time.
What I really wanted to say from all of this senseless ramblings is that, it has been 4 years that I have restarted my life back and still feel lost, alone and out of place.
Weird thing is, this time, it feels like it will never change.
Today was a shitty day. I have been working on changing my circumstances to start caring for my mental health.
And yet again, life has disappointed me by giving me the shitty end of the stick. What’s worse is that I was given hope. Only for things to fall apart through no fault of my own. It’s frustrating, to say the least.
It’s funny, I don’t believe in luck anymore, but I still blame bad luck all the time.
It has been 9 years since my Mother passed. As I sit here remembering her life, love, wisdom and warmth, it is impossible to ignore the void left behind by her absence.
In my opinion, losing a parent is like losing a compass that always pointed towards love and understanding. The journey without them is very challenging. No matter how much time has passed.